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Hey yawl so......whats up wit the title huh??


So, I’ve kinda hit another rut in my life again. Not the first time, I seriously doubt it’ll be the last time. So like before the gears in my brain were cranking and clinking and makin smoke outta of ears. And like before the thought of being a stripper and/or porn star *POOF’D* up. Now don’t take it the wrong way. I’m doin it for a reason and not because I’m a ho or a wanna be hooker/prostitute. I’m doing it because the way or I should say which way of where my life is going and that’s to the whatever the hell is beyond hell *goofy face*.
So here’s the deal. 2005, my mom got sick (nuff explanation there) had to have brain surgery and had quite a few seizures in the process. So same year started The Pennsylvania State University, I never wanted to go to PSU coz it wasn’t a place I liked or enjoyed. I went to summer camp there a few years before I started going and it was like the ABSOLUTE WORSE WEEK OF MY LIFE(!!!)—or so I thought. So when I finally started the school I wanted to go to, Edinboro University; sends me this confirmation 2 weeks after I had started PSU. Bummer right?? TOTALLY!! I went to PSU for teaching, I wanted to do Early Child Education….and before I get any further we gonna make this SHORT & SWEET ^_^.

Started in education and professor/advisor was giving me a hard time, I’d asked before school started if I could go into a UNDECIDED MAJOR so I know that education was something that I wanted to do. Didn’t work out, so I left education and picked up Children, Youth & Family studies, I worked with social workers before and I really liked it a lot. So after I had picked the CYFS major in 2006 PSU took the major away and replaced it with Life Skills, not something I was feeling. That’s like Alcoholics Anonymous waiting to happen, no thanks, no thanks. Then I didn’t have an advisor for semester and was still in education and that I took classes for a major that didn’t exsist. Then I got put into the Communications & Liberal Arts majors. Was in Comm. first and then I wanted to do Liberal Arts come to find out that the teacher in the Liberal Arts was a TOTAL BIATCH -_-. So didn’t work and then went back to Comm. which didn’t work too much and I chose Corporate Comm. Was definitely digging Corp. Comm. but then I had the BITCH FROM HELL SPAWN she got tired of me sleeping in class told her I was havin a livin situation problem—so I found out that I was sick and had plenty of doctor visits. Bitch said she was gonna help me as well did the others but she didn’t—and I’m getting off track. Anyways. I then changed to Visual Comm. then to Integrative Arts: Visual Comm. and ended up moving up to Altoona, Pa. So in between the move, my father died and I flunked fall semester of 2008 because the professors said that going to my father’s viewing and wake wasn’t a legitimate excuse to miss class. Harsh I know, but it’s Penn State -_-. So then went up to Penn State Altoona from Penn State McKeesport/Greater Allegheny; had a HORRIBLE living situation and long story short failed that spring semester 2009 too.
So I was told up at toon town that it would be best for me to withdraw but at the moment I didn’t even know if someone was coming to get me at the actual end of the semester. So they said that since it was my *fault* I fucked up I take on half the responsibility but the rest was all them like a 40-60 type shit. They said I would be dropped from my major and it would take me 4 years to get out of the Academic Disqualification/Probation. Now what I didn’t know was that I was on Academic Probation and wasn’t told. That when I changed major they add on another. And the number one prize besides lying, it would take me 3years not 1 or 2 no more, but fuckin 3 years to GRADUATE. So technically it would take me 7 years to graduate in addition to the 4 years I already had under my belt—11years for a lousy ass degree that I’m not so sure I’ll get a job for?? FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!!!

So after all that bull I thought about moving away, I was depressed, sad unhappy, broken-hearted, my life was falling apart in front of me and there was nothing I could really do to fix it. Its easier said than done to say to try try try again dust yaself off and try again but that’s crap at some point you’re gonna get GOOD GOTDAMN TIRED OF BRUSHIN DIRT OFFA YA BODY ya know??
So in the end PSU sent back all my aid money and gonna run this game on me that I owe them money. I’m like do I looked like I’m wearing metallic go go boots a green wig with clown make up ON?? *does it like Trina* HELL NAW I DON’T WANNA HOLLA AT NO MUHFUCKIN TRICK >_O!!!!!

Now I’m in debt about $83,000 in DEBT!!!! But here’s the funny part….$500 goes to Kaplan, and $2000 goes to University of Phoenix. So yea you got it $80,500 ALL GOES TO PENN STATE—not directly but it goes. I own PSU $7,356….student loans in 40,000 and $33,000 worth of PERSONAL loans.

So every one of my PIMPS want they moneys, now I done told the jive turkey muthafuckas I aint got they money cant get no play—unless I go lookin for work in a deeper darker part of town, right??

Sometime back in August or further back I was looking for a job and didn’t have NO TYPA LUCK =(….so then I thought about. Strippers make good money right??? I did a little bit a research, found out it depends one on how long you’ve been out there, how much the customers like you, if you got it GOIN ON ;). But then I kept reading, come to find out that if you’re a Porn Star asked to ANY STRIP CLUB you can make an easy $2500 to $5000 A NITE!!!! I’m like well hell I’m down and I called a strip club aint no harm in doing that. But manager said well you come on it so we can have a open open personal interview and I’m like WHOA-HO BACK OFF!! O_O!!! And then I found some other accommodations.

Well now I am in school but I’m truly questioning will it be worth it if I finish?? I mean just starting out I won’t be making $90,000 right?? Hell I’d be lucky if I can get a temp job and get $12,000 but hell by time paying MY OWN BILLS, and my Pimps hell I’d only have a fuckin dollar left, WHAT TYPE OF SHIT IS THIS???
So the other night I’m talkin to my homegirl. And we start joking about and I told her that actually I might go down there see whats up see what’s popping. So liked I said I’m doing it for a reason. And I know I’m strong-willed enough to let neither the Stripping nor Porn Industry fuck up which is Sauni. I need the money and so I been told I need to have a job for that, right?? And I’d like to be able to say well what I’m doing will be able to better myself and at least take an attempt to fix it or stop it from spiraling down to west hell ublip ya kno??

So therefore Wish Williams was created ^_^
How? You ask?? Well…
Was talkin to my mother the other day and I asked her why she didn’t give me a nice normal name like Star or something. She said that’s a fuckin ugly name what you wanna be named WISH?? I was like OOOO I LIKES THAT!!

And thus Wish Williams was born, so check out my fellow future Porn Starlets
Kitty Velvette
http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/courtney06?ref=mf

&

Gigi Renee
http://www.mzdommie.blogspot.com/

<>
http://mzdommie.blogspot.com/2009/11/pornstar-mentality.html


Toodles Until Next Time ^_^


call me

ღ Wish Williams ღ

I prefer it ^_^


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