The Mathematical Tourist: The Street with No Name

So in the midst of my googling the other night I came across this picture that I fell in love with. I decided to check out the website it came from, something I rarely do not unless it's an interesting photo or I need a photo source or something. And all in all I'm happy I stumbled upon this!!!

The Mathematical Tourist: The Street with No Name


So for those of you that's getting to know me and haven't check out the About Me page.

My name is LéSans LéRue. My mama named me after my dad's ex-girlfriend from high school. Yea I know, crazy huh?? Lol. It's Canadian French for Street Without A Name or Nameless Street. Thank God we don't use American Meanings for our names right?? Haha!!


So since its a very unusual name there isn't much on it and not only is it hard to find someone named LéSans, finding those cute License Plates and matching accessories are like looking for a specific needle in a barrel full of specific needles—next to impossible. All the LéSans' I knew are older than me and pretty much all of them have passed on to the other side. Tragic.

Anyway from time to time I like to google and see if there's something new or added. And I came across the picture and decided to read the post.


So not only does he say where he found the awesome picture but the post is dated May 19th.


My birthday is May 20th.


If that's not awesome I dunno what could be hahaha!!


So I had to share this awesome good tidbit with everyone.

You never know what you'll find web you look hard enough!!

Not only did I find an awesome blog to follow but it had something to do with me as a person and became more than just a something but a great happy personal memory for me.

Coz I Care 4 U [Still]

Well for those of you that don't know or just beginning to get in the thick of things, I'll let you know why I titled this the way I did.


Ok.

So about 3 or so years ago I met this really great guy. Who happened to be a mailman and of a family that my parents and family mentioned a lot about. You see his family produces football greats. Anyway long story short I ended up falling head over heels for him. Fell so in love I wanted to do things for him, I would never consider. Not even in the best of my moods. But irregardless whether he was something great or mediocre; he was special to me. He was perfect. I dunno if it was because I missed that man interaction or because he was always sweet to me. I loved him, his flaws and knew I wanted to be with him forever. He was all I thought about and all I wanted.

Even though I was shy, I'd go out everyday to meet him. Even in the freezing cold, I'd wait for HOURS just to see his face, hear his voice and see that beautiful smile of his. Love makes you do crazy things lol. He even asked me out and in the midst of my clumsiness he misunderstood and never really heard my answer.

Well just so happen, he mentioned something about his football career and he told me to google it and I decided to so. However I ended up finding something I wasn't prepared for but would never know really then how to handle it completely. And I still don't. Found out he was married. He never told me directly and I'm disappointed in him about that. But not mad, because how could I?? This wasn't a crush or something unrequited. I'd experience those before and knew what it was like to be rejected and move on. But to find out the man I fell in love with was married, was married before I even graduated high school and his wife was one of my older cousin's best friends was a lot to handle in one blow.


So! For the past year or so I've been trying to forget him. Act like I've never met him and hope one day he'd just be a pleasant nightmarish memory. But I'll be honest. I can't seem to do that. The slightest thought of him makes those Love-strung feelings reappear like I was meeting him again for the first time all over again. I even considered taking him away from his wife, even making him cheat on her. However I didn't want to tear him away from his family—his kids. I also didn't want to be the Mistress or Secret on the side chick not even a Homewrecker. That wasn't me and I felt guilty and bad doing so and I hadn't made a move. Did tell him I wanted to rape the shit outta him OMG....anyway, sorry lol.


So I saw him over the winter from time to time. And I would sit in the car ad watch him walk, love his walk. Hell he's a grown ass man, and if you know.... You know what I'm talking about. Or I'd sit in the car and daydream about him, reminisce our short time we spent together. A couple of weeks ago I saw him, the uncle had come over and we were outside chatting it up. So here he comes and our eyes lock. Not only did I get completely ignored but he made a face at me. I'm like damn *stabs knife into heart* didn't know you could be so shady. No hello, how are you. No smile, no hug, not even a hey I missed ya its been awhile. Nothing. Nothing but a frown and him acting like I'm suran wrap. What Mariah Carey say?? See right through you like you're bathing in windex. And not only did that happy feeling come but my heart was aching. It hurt. I've been rejected and told no before but this time around. Not only is it hard that the person you want is taken by someone else but for them to forget, ignore or act like you don't exist at all and never did hurts. Yet in all that. Still I love him.


Makes you wanna cry?? HELL makes me wanna cry.

My Prince in shining armor was not only everything I had hoped for and more and everything I expected. I was told I'd get a guy like him some day. However he was taken by a [evil] queen, and I never got my chance to fight for him or his love.


So now, from time to time my thoughts get clouded and jaded by him. And I get happy, then angry to sadden and wonder if I can really fall in love again. I mean how can I?? I know it's possible. But how do I know for sure I won't end up in another wasted love. Tainted Love. I wasted 3 years on a guy who will never leave his wife or would want me for long. And ended up making bad choices. I don't regret meeting him and I'm happy I did and got to experience love for once in my life. Like I said for it to happen again, would be especially hard for me. But I know not only would I be hurting myself but I'd be hurting the next guy that may come along.

Which is sad and I know it's wrong. But what's a girl to do ya know??

Even a day like today. Where there's a Midsummer Thunder Storm. As I gazed out the window looking at the dark sky and hearing the birds twitter and chirp in fear of the anticipated storm. The thunder booms lightly but hard, hard enough so you know it's coming.

And as I hear the rain comes pouring down. Sounding like a band of maracas and cymbals.


The first thought that comes I my mind as my eyes take in the Wickedness appearing outside is:

I hope hell be ok and safe today. Hope he doesn't get too wet or catch a cold. Hope and pray that he'll be fine....


And here I am catching myself thinking of a man who will never be mine, like always, time after time.

Made me think of the song I Care 4 U by Aaliyah today.


But either way. Even if it is ugly and grotesque out. The nice fresh rain smells nice—




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Hot Pop Culture!

I thought I'd post this for my Fellow Hot Topic Lovers out there!!


So check it out, enjoy it and use that HT+1 card lol

Below I listed a few of my favorites, so click the images to see what's new and what's not Guyz & Dollz!


׺°”˜`”°º×÷·.·´¯`·)»❀«(·´¯`·.·÷׺°”˜`”°º×


Sailor Moon





׺°”˜`”°º×÷·.·´¯`·)»❀«(·´¯`·.·÷׺°”˜`”°º×


My Little Pony




׺°”˜`”°º×÷·.·´¯`·)»❀«(·´¯`·.·÷׺°”˜`”°º×

Hello Kitty




׺°”˜`”°º×÷·.·´¯`·)»❀«(·´¯`·.·÷׺°”˜`”°º×


Batman





׺°”˜`”°º×÷·.·´¯`·)»❀«(·´¯`·.·÷׺°”˜`”°º×



Day of the Living Dead


〈Source: http://mrshmllw.deviantart.com/art/dia-de-los-muertos-126419671〉

׺°”˜`”°º×÷·.·´¯`·)»❀«(·´¯`·.·÷׺°”˜`”°º×
׺°”˜`”°º×÷·.·´¯`·)»❀«(·´¯`·.·÷׺°”˜`”°º×


GET A MOVE ON IT!!!





And don't forget to sign up for a HT+1 car if you haven't done so already!!!





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Wisdom Teeth

Whew geez

I don't know where to begin.

One I hate WISDOM TEETH!!! I hate teeth period. Like if they're so important or we need them, why do they give us so much pain???


Yea so like all creatures I've got wisdom teeth. And in the words of my mother:

FUCK WISDOM TEETH LEMME BE A DUMBASS HELL!

Lol, My mama's like Madea.....well she is Madea and that's what I call her XD.

But yea I've been having problems with them for the longest time. But they didn't jump out there and start acting like fools until maybe I was 21 or so. My one tooth gave me hell from 2009, 2010ish and just stopped maybe at the end of 2011.

Now from what I recall they came in and I remember the dentist bitching because they weren't clean enough. How the hell you expect me to clean something at the back of my jaw?? Can't open your mouth too wide or close it too much coz the toothbrush won't fit. WTH!?

So then I'm like shouldn't they be getting removed?? And the dumb ho's like NO NO you're fine ＊super smile＊ besides you'll gain WISDOM!! HOW AWESOME IS THAT??? :D


Yea who said gaining wisdom was a piece of pie?? No, Not I said the Bunny ^_^


So I said fine whatever and brushed like I usually did. I rarely floss, mostly out of laziness lol. But everything was fine and they were below and/or beneath the gum line so it wasn't a problem. No problems, and if I got a pain or something I grabbed the orajel and called it a day.


Then one day them suckers jumped out like a stripper in a oversized birthday cake for a bachelor before his wedding day. Not only was I shocked as hell but damn this kinda hurts, much… so I made mention to my dad because he was smart and intelligent and he said not to worry. Alright fine if you say so gov'ner.


Then all hell broke loose when I was around 21.....yea 21. My right jaw got inflamed and swelled BAD. And I was going to school I remember and the tooth was seriously fucking with me. Thus starting a domino effect of pain and heartache. I remember the summer before last it hurt so much I just laid down and cried till it stopped.

So I decided one day

I AIN'T FIN TO TAKE THIS SHIT NO MO!!! MAMA!? WHERE DA MUTHAFUCKIN PHONE BOOK AT???

That's how we talk in our house lol it's quite entertaining actually especially for the nosey ass neighbors haha!!


Ahem—


I go walking and searching for dentists and orthodontist to take these abominations outta my poor mouth. Most of the private practices and entrepreneur self-own joints told me "no insurance, no cure." Or the whole

I got an appointment available Janfebjuly 34th, 3133 @ 8 o'clock Eastern NASA Time

crap.


I called up Aspen Dental and made an appointment and I decided to go. It was a nice September day in Pittsburgh, bus service had just been changed, cut and tied-the-hell-up and I was walking in an unknown location. So I fill out the form and await my turn. The lady calls my name and I head up there and follow her to the secret location in the back.


They put me in this X-ray room and ask me to remove my jewelry. So I removed my necklace thinking its possibly in the way and the nurse or dental tech is like ALL OF YOUR JEWELRY.


O_o um what does the earrings in my ears have to do with my mouth?? So that's all she kept saying and when I took out my earrings and nose ring. She says I needed to remove the bracelets and watch and silly bands I had on too—the hell is going on???


She then gets all Joker happy and says she'll "hold my jewelry for me."


OH HELL





This bitch CRAZY!! Tryna steal my shit on the lo-lo like manolos!!

So I say to her:


Should I take my tongue ring out too or leave that one in??








She's like OHHHH DIDN'T EVEN SEE THAT ONE GOOD JOB







Hey-Soos Christ


Why me, Lord??



So I shove my jewelry in some compartment of my suitcase sized purse and hold on tight to my purse like its my teddy bear.

While she attempts to convince me to "watch my purse" for me and how it will be kept safe and how it'll be so much better if I PUT IT DOWN and—




We get the X-rays and they move me to another room. And I'm like I just want to know how much would cost to get the wisdoms teeth removed. So you know the whole let's clean, floss and sparkle routine and let's ask you hard questions and give you the answer and so on and so forth. So then after an hour or so them making plans I'm like whoa whoa I just wanna know a price like how much dinero I need to get these toothses REMOVED.

By then they're pissed and send me off with Malibu Ken and he says it's going to cost $2000 just for the one removal, anesthesia & extra fees included. But if I wanted them all removed I could do that or individually removed it would $500+ each tooth.


The whole time I'm like:


BE SERIOUS DUDE



He's Like:


OH I am. Cash-Check-Money Order?




Then I'm Like:



Wait—

I'm sorry....





And he's still like:






So then I say:


WELP BOB this has been great—



My name's Ken



—I really don't give a damn THANX BYESIES!! HAD A BLAST NO THANX THO


I've got pamphlets!


＊SNATCH!＊
Thank you. Thank you very much



That Motherfucka was Crazy






And yea so you now know why I haven't seen no one else. I rather deal with the pain than the price.


However I ain't even gonna lie, this pain is getting pretty annoying now, so what I got to wait for the tooth to get its life together in 3 years??? Um I'm pretty sure we had time to do this.






Anyway, so in the midst of all the filling of the wisdom cavities and trying new things nothing seemed to work. Until my mom told me of this cotton ball technique. I dinnow it's something by the red cross and you dip these pellet like cotton balls in some stuff....well yea it's suppose to stop the pain.


So is clove oil. Clove oil is suppose to kill the root and nerve endings in the tooth and make life more livable.


Don't, do it. I got the clove oil also known as Eugenol—tried it, not only was it the nastiest shit I've ever had in my mouth but it's so sickening it makes you want to throw up your kidneys and liver and there's drool everywhere—OMG it's so gross and nasty BUT IT WORKED SWELL!!!


That was until yesterday afternoon.


I'm knocked out. Sleeping good. Sexy Fetal Position. Dreaming a Sweet Nightmare and the next I know I feel like someone punch the shit outta me in my jaw!!! I jolt the hell up in some serious pain. So I close my curtain a bit and roll over to my left side. Not working. Got some Tylenol and laid back down. Still no worky. So then I made a wild dash to the bathroom to preform my dental school shit. Nothing. Took from 4pm to about 9pm for the shit to stop banging dubstep in my left jaw.



But there's an upside. 1 down. Working on 2 more and then 1 more to go. If that's not awesome I dunno what is. However I still want them removed. They're like juvenile delinquents on a mission to kill and over throw the Law.

But they goin have to respect my AUTHORI-TY




$5000 for the full procedure and then another several hundred dollars for insurance


OR



Deal with the Pain like a BAD ASS???








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The Relationship Résumé

If you've been keeping up with me you know I've been talking about relationships.

And besides the whole big girl thing, the advice that I've seen on the net is not only ridiculous but funny and entertaining.


They give out all this crap and stuff on how to be the "ideal" partner and how to get the potential love interest "interested" in you. How to do "research" and make sure you get a "diversity" of "people" and how to treat the relationship scene as a "job"


Wait a minute!

Are we looking for a lover or A Job?? Coz if it's a job I want all my benefits dammit!!!


But really in all seriousness. These people talk about finding someone as a job. Yes it is a "job" so to speak but not a 9-5 and I need a fancy Resume and suit plus a degree.

Oh

Hello there!

My name is Bunny

I went to Lovelace University got a BA in Heart-breakage with a minor in Love/Hate Happiness. And I got my double MBA from Cupid Hustle University in Disco-technology and Housewifery.

I have 5 years experience in Pain and Mistressology. An additional 3 years experience in Baby Mama Drama Trickery.

My hobbies include catering to any and every man. Cooking and cleaning are my specialties. And I absolutely love coffee shops and the grocery store. Sports?? Don't mind if I do!!

I've volunteered to do any and everything especially if it includes a bar or night club and him and his baby mama!! Why yes I do love kids!!!


Throw me, kick, hit me, do whatever you like to me. I don't mind really. I'm here to do whatever you like.


If you pick me for the job, I promise not only will I NOT disappoint you but I'll make you very very happy =D.

PLEASE!! GTFOH!! Do you know how stupid that sounds???

GAWD!! That's worse than telling everybody that the Prince always gets the Princess and they ride off on a big white stallion to a castle and have 2 kids exactly. Bullshit!



Like who better yet why did anybody think or feel that finding someone is like job searching??

Honestly you shouldn't change yourself or fake it out. Be yourself and someone will like you and if not it could be something else. Depends.


But dating and relationships are not a full time job where you're getting paid. Now don't get me wrong, it is a job and it can have benefits and can be just as rewarding. But don't go in any relationship, platonic or otherwise, expecting to get the world when you can only give a morsel of a tree or a handful of sand.


What exactly do I mean??


You wouldn't tell someone you own a company and hire them. Knowing you don't have a company and can't really afford to pay them. Why?? Because no one will be happy, it'll create major problems and everyone will probably end up hurt.


So you shouldn't be someone your not. Yea you may get someone's attention but will you be happy acting like someone you're not or someone you hate just for a relationship or a false love built on a pile full of lies?? Would you marry and start a family with a stranger you didn't know?? HELL NAW—at least I hope not. Lol


But in all seriousness this epidemic is everywhere. On the Internet the dating sights are asking more questions than any employer would. And even of you bump into someone or meet by fate on Facebook you've got to go thru 20 questions just to get an "Okey Dokey"


One guy decided to hit on me. I met him through a social network. Strictly platonic place you know??


So at first not only was his first impression bad but it was lousy. He decided to talk about anime. Said he never met a girl who like anime like I did.

1. If you going to get to know someone don't use a strong like or interest of theirs. Because if you know nothing of that area or topic you will look like an ass.


What he do wrong?? He knew very little of anime and immediately changed the subject when I got in depth with it. A big no-no.


Then he wanted to know if I was bisexual or not and he wanted to know why my marital status said "in an open relationship"

2. If you've already creeped on my Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Tumblr or whatever. Don't ask me things that already has or have been answered. That's tacky and lets me know you've been creeping.


What he do wrong?? When I said yea I'm bi was there something that said I wasn't?? It is on my profile. He replied he didn't want to assume anything. Oh really?




Then he asked me personal information. Not that it was any of his business in the first place but to ask something so personal and I don't know you well.

3. Don't ask people anything that is personal or none of your business. It's rude but very offensive.

What he did wrong? Asked me where do I see myself in the next 5 years. If I was going to school. If I was working. When I told him the deal. He then decided to take it upon himself to "offer me a job" because I needed to have one.


Which takes us to

4. Never make plans for someone else. What may seem or be the best for you isn't the best for someone else.

&

5. Don't be cocky, or expect your ego to be stroked. You may get burnt or get your feelings hurt.


What he did.... When I said no thank you because I refused to be obligated to ANYBODY let alone a strange man I didn't know. He told me he was a blessing bestowed upon me from the heaven above.



Baby Mama Drama (or Baby Daddy Problems), Ex Issues and Kids. 3 of the most lethal combos ever put together. If you have kids bottom you will have problems looking for a relationship. Not only are the kids a turn off is the fact that their other parental may still be in the picture. So that turn off runs into feeling threatened. If you're heavily involved with your exes like everyday communication and "so-called friendly outtings" that's a deal breaker. Nobody wants to go out with the potential love interest and their baby mama & ex and kids at a family restaurant expecting free meals for ALL.


6. If you have kids, mentioning them is fine. But don't take it over board by looking for a built in babysitter and part-time lover. It don't work that way and it's not meant for single people. Instead flock to where you'd find what's best for you. Like a Park or playground or something. The single scene is not meant for you.



What he did wrong?? Mentioned his kids as much as possible. He told me when they had to eat, when they had a bad dream, and how much he LOVED his kids. I'm sorry but as the saying goes Kids are like Farts. You can tolerate your own but other peoples' kids are unbearable. Lol HELLO!



Next never judge a person or knock them down. Everybody has flaws and we all have our down points and moments.

7. Never make a big deal about a persons flaws. They know they have them. Instead try to help or give them some encouragement. But if you insist on bringing them down or jumping on their case about it don't expect a nice reaction.


What he did wrong? Ask me one night what I cooked for dinner. I said I didn't cool because I didn't know how. Maybe one day I'll learn. But for now I'm a microwave queen. He said he would always be hungry if he had to deal with me. What I said....if the going got tough you'd eat whatever's available mister, or go hungry. Then not only did he knock my non-cooking skills he decided to say in a sneaky way I wouldn't make a good housewife if I didn't get lessons. I'm sorry but that's a job I'm not interested in. Then he did this:


Never compare someone to something you know nothing about or just to spite yourself.

8. No one is created the same, no one is equal in characteristics, personality or features.


He decided to compare me to Monica Lewinsky. One I don't do oral sex on me I hate it. But to say and compare me to a woman like her. Whether it happens or not. You called me a chickenheaded HO. No, no I don't think so.




Next never assume when someone asks you questions or mentions something that your GAME is all that and you got them in your court. It's mostly to figure you out or to make sure that your as flakey as you seem to be.


9. People ask questions to gain more knowledge. Not to make you think you've got it going on and your A-Game was hella good. Or anything else that's silly. Thats how it goes. It's called communication.



What happened next?? I asked how old was his kids. He said he had 5 of them aging from 3 years to 10 years. Well you and their mother must be proud of YOUR FAMILY. What he said: Are you fishing for information?? But don't worry about her we're not together right now.


Which brings us to:

10. Never be afraid to let someone know you're not interested. Fuck that! NO MEANS EXACTLY THAT—NO. Sometimes saying not interested may say to someone that at the moment you're not interested but maybe later if you try again I might be. No one is a magic 8 ball. Say no if they don't understand, there is nothing wrong with ignoring someone. And in worse cases kids.... Be blunt and let them know.


What I said: No I wasn't fishing because I really don't care. I'm not interested. Your kids are a turn off no offense but since you already have a family with a chick whether the relationship is platonic or intimate that doesn't matter. I ain't the step-mommy type or housewife type sorry but that's how it goes for me.


What happened next?? Not only did he stop messaging me but he deleted me. Did I care?? No not really.

But if you're really interested in looking for a potential partner. Don't treat it as a job search and don't treat them as an "employee." it's wrong and degrading. There's already the everyday bull you get from society. But you don't need someone you trust and feel the closest to to treat you the same way. Just do your best and hope for the best. It's hard trust me I know. We all have issues when the world of love and relationships are involved. However try your best!!


Hell if a love sick lovelorn rejected Bunny like me can still give r a try then dammit so can you!! So don't listen to them crazies out there talking about jobs and compare finding a GF/BF like making MultiBillions worth of Dollars lol.



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Zulily.com

I love this website.



Not only does it have stuff for moms, babies and kids but they have some other nice things like how-to books, furniture for everybody and they may even have the very thing you've been looking for!! Lol like an awesome iPod, clock, FM/AM radio LAMP!! How cool is that compadre??


So if you got kids and need something cute for them. If you'd like to get something awesome to decorate your space with, then this is a good website to check out!!


Plus once you sign up, it's free, you'll get maybe 1 or 2 emails a day about specials and stuff they have. It only last about a month or so though so if you see a deal save it or check to see if they'll have it again because sometimes they will have the same deal twice.

ZULILY!!


www.zulily.com

Be sure to check it out ok! ^_^

Anime Dork ＼(^o^)／

I decided a month or so ago to write down all of the anime I've watched. And when I finally did so, I realized how much of a Anime Obsessed Cookie I really am lol. But either way I love every single moment of it lol. Why?? I dunno I love cartoons and stuff but I get tired of the happy ending or mediocre melancholy problems or unhappiness that snaps back into a happy ending or happy story. Not saying its not possible, but hey let's be real, we don't live in that kinda of world now do we?? Lol

Well if any of you are interested in Anime or Manga or just wanted to know if the only thing I've seen an know and love is just Sailor Moon (and I do but you're wrong lol). Here's my list so far ^_^. If you know of any I should check out please by all means lemme know :D



×÷·.·´¯`·)»¤«(·´¯`·.·÷×÷·.·´¯`·)»¤«(·´¯`·.·÷×


(this is in no particular order ok)

Anime list lol

Fruits Basket

Kimi to Boku

Kimi ni Todoke 

Chibi Devi

Sekirei

Girls Bravo

Ladies vs. butlers 

Tiger & Bunny

High School DxD 

InuxBoku SS

Marmalade Boy

Nana

Shugo Chara

A Bridge to the Starry Skies

Mayo Chiki

Mawaru Penguindrum

Noein

Shuffle!

Clannad

Clannad After Story

Chihaya Furu

Usagi Drop

Peach Girl

Ouron HS Host Club

Modotte! Mamotte! Lollipop! (Save Me Lollipop!)

My Bride is a Mermaid

Black Butler

Kaze no Stigma

Demon King Daimao

School Rumble

Negima!?

Vandread

Speed Grapher

Popotan

Honey & Clover

Samurai Champloo

Hetalia

Ano Hana

Ao No Exorcist

Maid-SAMA

Princess Tutu

Lil Pri

Beelzebub

Full metal Alchemist

Crayon Shin Chan

Junjou Romantica

Sekaiichi Hatsukoi

Sailor Moon 

XXXholic

Kamisama Kiss

Rosario+Vampire

The Dark Rabbit Has 7 Lives

Mondaiji-tachi ga Isekai Kara Kuru Sō Desu yo?

Uta no Prince-Sama

Hataraku Maō-sama

Say "I Love You"

Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun

NouCome

Zombie Desu Ka?

Infinite Stratos

Hiiro no Kakera

Date A Live

Black Lagoon

Attack on Titan

Okami-San & her seven companions

Sword Art Online

Hentai Prince & The Stony Cat

Kill La Kill 

No Game No Life

Aika R-16

Agent AIKA

Fantasista Dolls

Sailor Moon Crystal

Ground Control to Psychoelectric Girl

Listen To Me Girls I Am Your Father

Space Dandy

Karneval

Free! 

Haganai

Astarotte's Toy

Ao Haru Ride

Sparkle Force

Deadman Wonderland 

Michiko x Hatchin

Love Stage! 

Assassination Classroom

Revolutionary Girl Utena 

Recorder and Randsell 

Kiss him, not me

My first girlfriend is a GAL 

Tsuredure Children 

How To Keep A Mummy 

Sanrio Boys

School Baby Sitters 

Kakegurui

7 Deadly Sins 

Hayate The Combat Butler!

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure

Monthly Girls’ Nozaki-kun 

My Little Monster 

The Ancient Magus' Bride

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No Matter What They Say

I've decided that I'm going to start me a project-slash-experiment.


Ok so those of you that don't know me well. I am a "big girl" I call it FLUFFY. But we all have our own vices right?? Lol

Anyway so in the midst of my Road To Mommyhood, I've decided to be a single mom. However finding a guy worth while, you feel comfortable with on a intimate ONLY level with No Strings Attached—more like SEVERED. Lemme tell you it's a hard task!! It's like a high school drop trying to get Steve Jobs' JOB. It's possible—but best believe it will be hard and a difficult and feel like its damn near impossible.


So anyway. I'm googling and searching. Applying to the Internet dating sites, posting personals, connecting with new people, etc, etc. and I've found more dickheads and useless ass men than a stray can find good food in a garbage can (buffet) boo-fet. Yea.


So here's your favorite Bunny wondering well maybe there is something that's unattractive about me. Could it be my personality?? Or my super quick temper?? My being a Taurus??? What could it be?? I decide to look for advice. We all need it, even those of us that give it lol. I'm looking and I'm reading and researching. However it seems like I'm doing everything right—


Well hold the hell up what am I doing wrong then??? So I continue to read and read and read!! I spent days, nights and wee-hours reading. I guess I'm missing something, right?? I know I have a blonde moment very now and then but damn I'm not that slow!!



All I kept seeing was MEN LOVE WOMEN. SHAPE DOESN'T MATTER!! IT'S PERSONALITY WITH A CAPITAL Y, WHY?? BECAUSE MEN LOVE WOMEN!!!

So one site was giving out advice saying men love women and how to get a boyfriend/lover (would you believe they deleted the post??) Your clothes are fine, your make-up looks great!! Your hair is fine, your personality is great, don't be so hard on yourself!! You're just fine the way you are and if a guy can't see that from jump street he's missing out!! (I'm paraphrasing here so bare with me)


Then I move on to another article. And maybe in a matter of 15 no more than 20 minutes. I get into reading the article—by the same person I might add—and I couldn't finish it. "Topic 2" fucked with my head:

Now the first part about looking great in bed can seem shallow, but umm… yeah, guys like that. Unless they have a fetish for BBWs [Read: Sexual fetishes].

〈Source: Lovepanky | What Men Want In Bed〉

Wait, um excuse me!?!

BBW?? Being "fat" is a sin enough and frowned upon. But for someone to be into you. Basically for a Big Girl to be liked, loved, or sought out sexually by ANY MAN is a fetish?? Oh hell naw, to me, you just compared me to a foot fetish or a serious role playing cosplayer fetish creep?? I'm sorry but I take offense to that. Pissed me off. But then again it made sense.


Now I'm not a 500-pounder who eats 20 burgers and a Buffet Bar meal 30 times a day. Nor am I super model anorexic. But because I weigh more than I probably should and I don't look like Shelly the Skeleton, men won't be interested in me because of that and if any guy is interested it's only for fetish purposes only. Oh yea that's real romantic.


While I'm googling this "fat fetish" crap, I notice this one article this guy wrote [Ask A Dude: Do Guys Like Bigger Girls?]. He said he rather have a girl who is "curvy" or "voluptuous" than/opposed to a skinny girl. Reason being because a skinny girl can look so "grotesque" and "malnourished" (I'm being nice here). So not only did I find the article full of crap or just crazy. Because I think in my personal opinion that Zoe Saldana is much prettier than Beyoncé. I hate Beyoncé's funky ass attitude, always did always have and the I AM ATTENTION FIERCE gets old real quick with me. Her music is ok until she starts that cats mating & sexing screams fucks my ear drums up!! Plus Zoe wore that pretty purple pom-pom dress by Givenchy to the 2010 Oscars (it's in my top list of awesome fashion ensembles lol). However, I was in awe of the FIRE STORM BATTLE because of what he said!! Like omg!! You call a girl fat and when a riot breaks out society says No No you're not fat, you're CURVY, VOLUPTUOUS, BIG & BEAUTIFUL *snap, snap* and everybody accepts it without a fight and people are ok with this. There's just acceptance and some big females take it too far and believe that dumb shit!!


But call a skinny girl anorexic, malnourished or too damn skinny and all hell breaks loose!! And some of the comments, if you read the article and wonder why it loads so damn slow, the comments are IN INFINITY AND BEYOND—

But if you didn't here's two of the comments:



Just to make bigger girls feel better?? Well you just killed everybody's confidence twiggy!! I'm 5'3" but even I think 100lbs is unhealthy..... That's the same size and possible weight of a 10year old kid!! That's not healthy!! Besides eating 2 more baby carrots than your friends isn't eating more than them.


Let's move on:




WOW!! Shaped like the earth though?? God forbid that he was trying to boost this poor girl's self esteem and then to read this it's like GAWD, IM SORRY MY FAT ROLLS OFFEND YOU....the hell??


How rude is that?? Really?? I mean are people unaware that the gym cost money?? Do they not know that some people can't afford the cutie diets or super duper organic foods?? Did you know some people have a glandular problem?? Or maybe the medication they take put weight on them?? Or he'll maybe nobody in the household knows how to cook and Mickey D's, BK & Wendy's is the best they can do?? But damn, maybe someone finds comfort in it—I can see why with all the negativity rolling around. Skinny jeans to cute tops, shoes, to even jobs—The thinner & prettier you are the more society loves you and will cater to you.

And don't you dare tell me no.


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I went into the local Kmart and saw they had screened Tees. I love screened Tees. So I'm checking the racks out and all I see is:

XXS, XS, S, M, L

All of the above are priced $9.


Out of the 50+ shirts I saw, I only found about 5 each of XL & XXL. Now I wear a XL (or 1X whatever you call it). If I get a 2X it's because the boobs are too big or arm space, something ok. But that's about it. Anyway–

The XL & XXL were in between $12-15. But both were the same exact size as the Large.

No. I've brought better shirts from Rue21 and Burlingtons. What the fuck?? So I checked out blue jeans. Sizes 000-17/18 were all either $5-$10 (at the most). I got a big booty and thighs to match—oh and let's not forget my earth shaped waist {lol?}. So I go sift through the "plus sized" section. $50 for a pair of cheap ass blue jeans that not only look like a blimp but are unflattering as hell!! Look mom jeans are cooler than the ones I found—DAMN. I did find a pair for $3 but in a color I hate that's hard to match (all sales final too)—fucking plum and not a pretty plum. That death looking plum that when you piece it to other colors makes you look like a serial killing fat ass clown. Only thing that looks good with them is a black turtle neck..... Summer's coming and I don't think so. Even if it was 110 below ZERO, I am NOT NEVER EVER wearing a black turtle neck!!


While I'm still at the Kmart. I see all the cute colorful skittle jeans, and the awesome tops and all this cutie stuff for the skinny girls and I get pissed. Why?? Well for a number of reasons. If I wanted to dress like that I would have to spend $100s!! And not at a normal store, either I'd have to go online more than likely to get what I'm looking for. Even though I love to eat and love food, I'm not fat because of that. Everyone knows you gain weight in college (20-30 pounds to be exact if not more)—it's inevitable! But because of the medication I was on for my Hyperthyroidism, that made me gain weight. Let's take it back: had a eating disorder in high school due to skinny girls picking on me, lost the weight. Went from a size 22 to a 8. Then fat girls (who I thought were my friends and moral supporters) started making fun of me and I started eating ice cream. Went from a 8 to a 18, devastating I know. Now let's go back even further, I got sick in elementary. Inner ear infection, a virus, strep throat, etc all around the same time. Doctor gave me the wrong antibiotics, made me more sick than I already was and damn near killed my immune system. So he put me on steroids to get my body back into motion. Guess what—gained WEIGHT.


SO!!

Then I decided to ask a couple of questions. And men if you're reading this. Be honest with a woman. Don't lie or tell her some dumb shit not unless you have to. Trust me I know!! We all got that one friend that asks,"Does this look good on me??" and you say yes only to avoid a fight knowing they look a mess and they wouldn't take it as constructive criticism or a helpful hint maybe. And who wants to deal with a crazy butt?? Yes, those are times when a lie comes in handy. But don't give a girl hell coz she's fluffy, fat or big without asking why?? But if she was skinny you'd be all over that—that is hypocritical and just rude fuck shallow (and imma get to yawl later on too).


So here I am baffled, confluzzled and ticked. Men and society say it doesn't matter if your big or fat. Men love women, and you keep being you. But only hot guys, fat guys, skinny guys, ugly guys, retarded guys, famous guys—GUYS period only date/want HOT GIRLS. Did you know Ladies that a skinnier person will make $25,000 more than a "overweight" person will. Are you aware that a size 12 is considered overweight or obese??


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So in my twisted little mind, I ended up having a thought:

So if you're skinny or "curvy" guys are in love with you and will be ripping and tearing your door down. Well wait a minute. For majority of my high school life I wasn't super thin but I was a good size and weight. Guys weren't interested in me in one bit. Matter of fact they ignored the fuck outta me!!

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa something is definitely wrong here!!!

There's no way that's it.

So I think and think. Now whether I was a size 22, a 8 or a 18 or whatever. I'm lucky if I actually get a guy to actually commit to taking me somewhere. Let alone hoping for a date or a boyfriend. The fuck is this??

What do I personally think of this situation?? It's genetics.

And I'm going to prove it!!


One Size DOES NOT Fit All—

The above photo was for V Magazine and Models.com. The purpose was to show that no matter the size of the woman or what she looks like. Everyone can wear the same thing. Now if you hadn't realized it yet, the model in the upper and lower right hand corners is a plus size model. The photo is not airbrushed or photoshopped in anyway or form. To be a "proper" plus size model you have to be no shorter than 5'5" you must have a flat stomach, toned arms and legs (no flab or rolls), must be pretty, have long hair and be no bigger than a size 14 or 16 (at the most maybe 18). As far as I'm concerned. That's a normal skinny girl in our real world. Or as I like to call it: A Nutritious Anorexic. Click the photo to see the rest of the photo shoot.

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I'm going on my diet (hence I said my diet). Lose the weight and get down to whatever I can. Prove to you it's not about beauty or shape or education. Because if that were true, there wouldn't be single people let alone divorced or widowed people either. Plus how do we explain how some fat people are hooked up and how ugly people are hooked up and how the bitchiest people are hooked up or the selfish people. You get me?? You see what I mean??



So yea that's what I'm going to do. Because if that's the case then I shall say that I'm wrong and apologize and so on and so forth. But if not and my theory proves right we shall discuss why this happens or why it is!!


In conclusion, No MATTER what anybody says, Men don't love women based on our personalities or characteristics or if our hips say we can bear 10 kids or not. Thin is beautiful and it's sad really that our society feels that way and not only accepts but does nothing to fix or correct it you know??


Tragic, really.


But just so you know, I think all women all beautiful no matter what size or shape they are. It's what's on the inside that counts the most. Coz I know big women and skinny women equally who are bitches at heart and others who are sweeter than candy. And that's coming from a bisexual woman ok!! HELLO!!




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Love-Less

From time to time I watch Castle. I liked it when it first came out. It was a cool show you know. Plus if you know your people the guy who plays Castle was one of the first Joeys from the soap opera One Life To Live ^_^.


Yea so I'm watching it tonite, I came in like 15-20mins into the show. So Beckett is there talking to this hispanic guy about the bomb explosion and all that other official police business. And Castle is watching the interrogation from the other side of the two sided mirror. So the guy says he doesn't remember or doesn't know or something. Then Beckett screams at the guy that she was shot and remembers every single second. So me and Castle are O_O hold the fuck up.


Now if we all remember when she got shot. If you don't Beckett got shot and Castle told her how much he loved her and how he wanted to marry her the whole-9. So in another episode, he asked her about what he said and she said she didn't remember and didn't know or something like that it was like last year or so. Go to Wikipedia if you need the whole story. So Castle left it at that until tonite.


So not only was he feeling some type of way. I'm sitting there like wtf is this??


First they were spose act like this love/hate relationship that turns into a blossoming love and they get married. But everything he does for her she acts more and more snotty or bitchy. Like there goes Castle to save her from a bomb, bullet, car crash WHATEVER!! And she doesn't even say thank you, let alone show some type of compassion or love of some sort you know???

So the next episode is suppose to be about Castle "moving on" oh but now Beckett's PISSED.

Hold up Ho. He told you numerous times he loved you, wanted to be with you, took you out wined and dined you, SAVED YOUR SORRY ASS, etc. And now you're mad because he's decided to move on??? If that's not Love I dunno what it.


I mean my mind was blown from that.



If the friendzone is like that hell I'm gamed!! I don't have no guy I know that would do any of those things for me, except for my dad.


But no if a person is willing to go that far or go unusual lengths for a person. Whether it be a man for a women or a woman for a man. That's love right there. Real talk!!


But not only did I feel sorry for Castle but I knew exactly what he was feeling.

I dunno what it is, but if you ever fall in love with a person. It's different from a crush, or unrequited love. Those types of loves you can bounce back or pull yourself together if you get rejected from the potential love interested. Like you ever have a crush and go tell them you like them and they say no Norway or no thanks or whatever. You're hurt or upset for a bit and you move on. It's easy and simple. It was more of a strong LIKE than a Lust. Lust is a different story. Yes kids well talk about that too one day....remind me lol.

But to fall in love is a different unique feeling. And trust me you will know. The feeling is so overwhelming that all your emotions take off and you don't know what to do. No its that OMG stare with your mouth open wide drooling as you see your love in this super model photo shoot, with the flowing hair, and nice sun light spot light and sparkles and stuff. Yea it's nothing like that. It's more of a painful happy feeling. And it's the anxiousness I guess that gets your blood pumping and all excited. It's an unusual moment you will ever have in your life. But when you fall in love with someone who either "teases" or makes you think theres a possible probability there. It hurts that much more. Because you fall deeper in love. And it's like being addicted to a drug. The more of it you get the more you want it and you don't want it to stop. However when that person says they're not interested or hooks up with someone else or in Castle's case says fuck off in the nicest way and takes a detour. Or in my case you fall in love with someone you didn't know who was married. It's really really hard to get over. It hurts too. You can't snap back and get over it like you would with a crush.


Like you get so angry at first because you feel like you've wasted precious good time on and for someone who not only didn't fully care or feel the same way. Now you know if you like someone or not and it's better to let them know ahead of time before things get out of control or someone if not both people get hurt. However in some cases you fall so in love with a person. That when you find out you can't have them or they don't want you, it's hard to let go.



In all honesty, all I can say don't let people fall in love with you and try to avoid it yourself as much as possible. Even now I say I want to move and know I can do so. But I don't want to, because I know what I want and what I want is HIM. However even though I know that and feel that (gotta tell yawl about seeing him), I just can't help myself and want him. And it's hard and it hurts. So I feel for the time being a relationship ain't for the best or recommended to solve the problem. That creates even more problems.


For Love to be such a beautiful thing and the most wondrous thing to experience. And how all this fairy tale happiness is going to take place. But then when it doesn't you've not only waste time, years, and wasted good love on something not pliable or made for forever. It's quite depressing.


I dunno, it's a lot better but I'll admit he comes to mind and a twinge appears in my heart. And I find myself missing him and eating him. But then I get mad and pissed because I can't have him and I'm disgusted I wasted my time and a love I could've shared with someone who was willing to love me back just because they wanted to and not because the felt they had to. But also may that might change. Or maybe if I get my own little bundle of joy that will solve it too! Or get a cute Lil Beyoncé Pup to fill the love gap.


But yea did you watch that and find all that odd??

If not then hell I dunno maybe I'll bring it back up when my mind is a lot clearer haha.




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Changez??

Changes, Changes, Changes!!


Don't we hate them?? Especially when we get in a routine or just conditioned responses and if you're like me you just don't like change like Stewie lol.


But every once in the while it's good to switch things up a bit and make a few subtle changes right??


Change #1

So I been thinking about Changing the domain name. Now don't panic or snap out or get upset. It's not final and you will be able to find me always whether you google me, bing me or go to twitter, Facebook or tumblr or whatever—you'll find me, I'll be here no worries ok lol

Don't get me wrong I love saunirue.com and had it for about 2 years now. Been on blogger for almost 3 years. And to be honest things have changed and we've come so far, and just a bunch of stuff. At first this blog, this was just to post a few poems and short stories I written on here. Then it turned into a venting place where I vented what I couldn't. Then I threw it by the way side, basically. But one day I needed to do more than vent and say what the hell I felt without getting everybody's two fifty cent pieces. Or people telling me I'm so weird or how crazy I was for this and that. And all this about how blonde I shouldn't go and why my porno nails were too long. How creative I should be because of this and もしもし？ 元気ですか？久しぶり


Look. We are all different and if we can't accept that then you are missing out!!! So I decided to write. That's what I do best–sometimes hahaha!! And I began to enjoy it. I didn't realize until I stopped writing that I would miss this so much. Just miss you guys period. Love you guys!! You read my corny thoughts and stories, random postings and I hope if I could've inspire you even just a little bit I'm happy. I refused to be fake and all Internet celeb like because that's not who I am and the more I changed as a person and aged and mature and shared some of my deepest darkest issues lol. Well to be honest, the more I became Bunny. The more this blog became different and mean something new!

I thought about changing it a while back but I couldn't bring myself to do so. I felt like I was betraying myself you know?? It felt weird but I know now that back then wasn't the right time to do so. Even the other night looking at stats and stuff I'm like I need to remove the "Sauni Rue" label. But I stopped myself. If I did that, I felt like I was losing something important. Like removing the bottom base of a pyramid. Without it we wouldn't be here right?? Like that pyramid wouldn't be standing tall without its base right?? Right!! So I didn't move or change it. However I still want to change the domain name. But what to?? Hell I dunno!! I've thought and thought and have no clue!! I love the ItzMzBunny just like a lot of people do too. But I feel it's too much or something. I feel too Diva-ish to do something like that lol. But I don't want to do a bunny.com UGH so plain!! So boring!! BLECH! No likey.

So maybe by time April 15 rolls around I'll get it together and let you know what's it gonna be. But if you have suggestions you know I'd love to hear em!! So don't be afraid to email me or comment or Facebook me, to tweet or tumble me!! I don't bite, not unless you're into that sorta thing ;D OW! Hahahaha



Change #2

I was considering the other day adding a few more labels. Not that I want a catastrophe like before. OMG THERE WAS LIKE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS of Labels. Not cool and it got frustrating for me like it did for you guys!!

So I noticed that there are a few things I want to talk about or possibly bring up in the future and we need labels for them. Not that the current ones don't serve their purpose. But we need originality and organization round here at the same time—OK!!

So if there's anything you're interested in or would like for me to talk about don't hesitate in letting me know ok!!

One definitely will be about online deals. Like where to get body jewelry, clothes, deals and discounts, so on and so forth. Those type things. Hmmm I just might call it I ღ Dealz (⌒-⌒ )



Change #3


Because all good things come in 3.

1 thing I'd like to do is get a buncha posts out this yea. I think 300-400 would be nice. Maybe even 500.

So that means not only will I have Ro stop being so extra extra LAZY!! But I also need to learn to finish what I start. Shouldn't and Can't be dishing out advice if I can't take my own helping/serving right??

Within the next couple weeks. I'm going to improve me, not just for me or some shady lover. But for everybody you know?? You guys included. I guess I got so laxed in everyday life routine that I liked not doing nothing. But then of course I got bored and needed excitement, but it takes time for Insta-Happy and it's about time I get active & Physical lol.


So either way, I hope all you Guyz, Dollz & Groupiez will continue to stick it out with me and be patient and take very good care of me lol


These are the best bonding moments I'll get until I have my baby hahaha or a puppy ^_^ either or works right??


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So for now those are the top changes. Can't make the goal too too big otherwise it turns into a problem instead of a reward. But I feel everything will turn out alright.

Plus I hope you guys like the minor changes with the site!! The side bars & new buttons & dancing stripper bunny up there (if you hadn't noticed lol). I likes it!! Lol it's looks not so blabbed and jumbled up TO ME anymore ha! Might do a few more minor changes nothing crazy. I love the neon emo was of the page. It's better than that pink lovey dovey crap from before if you've been with me once the dawn of the Dinosaurs XXDDD.





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