Kwanzaa | Ujamaa | Cooperative Economics

 Ujamaa means Cooperative Economics

"To build and maintain our own stores, shops, and other businesses and to profit from them together"

Even though this is meant strictly for business and profit within the community. It has some involvement to a relationship. We have to build and maintain our own in order to profit from them together. With a relationship you have to do that to not only keep the love and cherishment strong but to continue to grow as a couple and become more profitable each day. Not in just money but in love, support and family ties. 

I can say we lack that. I want that. I really do. But I can't work alone. This is a team effort. Like I said before he can't even help me out when I need it. Or do things for me when I ask. It's like he wants me to work with him and it be profitable to him and only him. I shouldn't want or need the same thing. I guess I should want for nothing. But what bothers me is that he wants to get married and spend the rest of our days together. But all I see is him being uncooperative as my husband. He won't be able to be my support, to be there for me—I don't even trust that he could make a sound decision for me if it were LIFE and death and I couldn't make that decision on my own. I feel we will never be that close or ever reach that point to be a strong team. All because he doesn't trust me enough and doesn't love me enough.....he doesn't care enough. 

That's what hurts so much...