25DOB | Day 21

"That Material"


I realized after I became submerged into the world of intimacy. And by intimacy, I mean dating, relationships, love, etc. I sort of knew what I wanted. I wanted that guy that was That Material.

I don't mean materialistic, arrogant, egotistical or that guy that waved his money around like a big shot would.

That Material is someone who can be the following:

• Friend
• Best Friend
• Lover
• Boyfriend/Girlfriend or for the grown up Man/Woman
• Fiancé/Fiancée
• Husband/Wife
• Father/Mother of your future kids

They're not hard to find and you can pick up on all 7 of those particular traits within a month's time. I picked up on them when I first met HIM. Even though it was one of those wrong time, wrong place and just so out of sync situations. It's not hard to pick up, however you've got to make sure that the person is for the right reasons. You don't want to get caught up with a married or already taken somebody who's only going to half commit to you when they feel like it—maybe.

Now I can say I still believe in those traits, but I now know exactly what I want in a man even though it's hard and difficult finding someone like what I want.


However I still think people should consider those traits. Don't just pick someone due to lust or a small smidgen of chemistry. It'll never work because that's not how you expect it to. It's not what you want. Then again, you have to wonder....Am I that Material for someone else??


In my case I might have 5 down pat maybe. It could be 4. I know how to be a friend and a best friend. I definitely know how to be a lover. I've had enough practice to be a good mom, but practice makes perfect right?? However I've never been a girlfriend, a fiancée or a wife. The first two, I know wouldn't be as much as a problem, but I would try my best. Being a wife, I know I'm lacking big time in that department. I maybe ready to be a wife. I'm not ready to settle down completely, and there are things I can't do most woman do know how to do like cook, compromise and make it work. I have a bad temper, and don't like being told what to do. I suck at cooking, I'm a microwave queen. So those inadequacies are my insecurities in being a wife. A wifey maybe, but a wife would be a serious challenge for me and I would have to wonder if the slightest goof I would make would jeopardize the whole relationship. I'm all for that you have to make things work, but some people are cut out for marriage while others aren't. I'm not saying to go and be a Wedding Planner like J.Lo. But you may in fact find someone who doesn't care about things you can't do and they even be able to pick up the slack.


I always hoped and dream what the guy I would end up marrying be like and how blissful life would be. In the end, now that I'm older, I just hope he accepts me for me and can accept my flaws and be ok with who I've become. I know I'm not perfect, and I have many issues (and I'm not the only one), plus I see things differently. It doesn't mean that I may not be someone's "material." Whether I doubt today's men or not. Somewhere along the line, I was someone' material whether it was a past life or it'll be a future one. I meant the world to someone. I was their everything and they wouldn't trade me for nothing—not even the world. It's not the falling in love part that's the best. It's being able to be yourself and to be loved by someone who loves you just the same or even more. And you get to keep them close to your heart for as log as you can.....now that's true material. It's better than any fairy tale.


Whether I meet that guy any time soon or in the near distance far off future. I don't care. Due to life, I've become jaded. However I would still like to meet him and get to know him. And be able to say well hey, I met him and he was great, he was a little too late. But he was still great and I'm happy I got to meet him. Then I'll hope that maybe next life time we'll get to meet each other a little sooner in life and build a beautiful life together.


I know I have my issues and mishaps. But I know I'm that material and always will be. I may not hear it directly and I may not experience it physically. But I know I'm worth it and I'm proud of myself. I've been dealt a bad hand, but that doesn't stop me from being worth it or that material.



Maybe one day my jadedness will change and maybe I'll find out later on I'm fooling myself. Either way, I tried my best and just as along as I tried, that's all I need to know.


So the neat time you meet a guy or a doll and you're feeling them. Make sure they match up to The 7 Material Traits. Then make sure that you're too! Then for sure you'll know what your next steps are.


So don't forget, be That Material and make sure that new love of yours is that material too!!