25DOB | Day 11

"Mistakes"

While I was checking the 25 Days of Bunny List. I noticed that this would be the next one I would be writing, since I do try really hard to write them ahead of time so they can get rainbowfied and pictures and so on and so forth. I guess the way I feel now makes this a hard yet easy topic. 


Everybody makes mistakes. Whether you accept it now or later. That's just the way it is. Sometimes for the better and other times for the worse. But considering, even some animal make mistakes as well. I think it's a judgement, mental kind of aspect of our thought process. You look at the task or situation at hand, in front of you. Then your brain gives you a multiple choice, if you will, of scenarios and you have to then consider each scenarios outcome, consequence and of its for the best choice. Then you have to take a risk and pick one without knowing if it's for the best or worst. Even after you made such said decision you can help but regret and wonder did you make the right choice?? Was that for the best?? Is everything going to benefit from this choice?? So many questions pop up and then you cloud your decision making skills and you have to wait for what'll happen next. 


Sad, but true. 


Or at least that's my understanding of it really. But what's really sad is after you've made the decision and entered into the unknown. If it turns out a mistake it's like all judgement hell breaks loose and you've got this 3-headed societal beast in front of you snarling at you like you took the last ShaBacon (bacon wrapped shrimps)!! 


But what's sad about mistakes some you get to learn from and say never again. Maybe that thought is held on for the next life, then again maybe not. They say you should and need to learn from them, but some situations don't repeat or re-present themselves. So you have to live with that mistake or those mistakes. Whether you want to or not.


I've made a bunch of mistakes. Probably far more in in my late teens and early 20s (which sounds and looks funny since I'm in my mid 20s now lol). A few I regret and others I wish I could get a DO-OVER PLEASE!! 




Which is why I guess I been having such a bad week. I think it was a mistake for me to go to college. A mistake to even finish and graduate high school. I mean if I wanted my life to feel like. Lathing I would've dropped out in 7th grade probably and became a fast food bum. Might as well since in those 8 years I really didn't learn or gain the knowledge I expected I would. I feel jipped on something thats consider so important so special. Here I am wondering can I even do as I say and make this work?? Or create or fabricate a happiness to make up for what I missed out on?? Am I wasting my time again??? 


We all have our own demons and issues. Some more severe, worse, strange or even unusual than others. But I think we as a people as a society has become too engrossed about this perfect utopia of people. Reminds me of the book Brave New World.

But to me if we as people were able to accomplish such a perfect world, with perfect people and perfect livelihood and lifestyles. Then its my belief, we would be unhappy due to the fact things are too perfect. Imaging a world no chaos, harm, diseases, crime or hate....not even love. Would it or is it still as beautiful?? Is it then perfect?? Was that exactly what we're looking for??? 


Because of the mistakes I've made over the past couple years. And the "if I had know then what I know now" speeches. I think it's wrong, the way society feels about me. Like I'm a cheapskate, bum who lives with her mother, who is fat and ugly. With such a filthy mouth, piercings and tattoos to match. A college dropout. And the list goes on. But if I'm trying and working as hard as I can. Even a pat on the back would be nice. I didn't expect it to go this way. 


Neither did you, right?? 


Life is a risk and if you don't take those risks it's considered you haven't lived. But when you do, there's consequences, mishaps and success. Unfortunately mistakes are the core of it all. 


Mistakes are like the scars we get in our Life. Eventually over time they will fade away but there's always a faint or even prominent reminder of its existence and used-to-be there. Just lingering aimlessly. It's even sadder that at one time two words would counteract and make the mistake you've made disappear from everything. And you could start anew and pretend like that mistake never happened. But now when you say I'm sorry, it's only good enough to be considered as a sorry ass excuse. 


I guess at some point in the future, mistakes will be considered as consequence and one must be punished. A treason for death—where even so much as a parley can't save you....let alone allow room for redemption.  


A mistake is a accidental response to a situation or a task at hand, that's sitting there in front of us. You can't get mad if we make the wrong decision or pick the wrong multiple choice answer. Especially if the answer is due immediately. 




Let's just hope that one day, mistakes will be a thing of the past. And we can carry input lives the way we're suppose to—happily.