Hey Guys & Dolls!!
I've missed you so!! Ugh you just don't know the witchcraft I've been through the past few weeks!! Big Bertha has been giving me a hard time and won't do anything. My mom got tired of me whining and complaining and brought me a new computer. Still haven't got that setup just yet. But soon enough Little Lola will be up and running. I plan on at some point fixing Bertha and possibly rebuilding her from scratch.
Hmm now what else?? Oh started my project of the 31 Day Nail Challenge. So I go and start my posting got my materials and pictures and already and excited. That's a lot of and's lol. So tried to post for Day 1. Blogpress says it got posted, I go to look. Not only is there nothing there, there's no draft and it's as if that 5 minutes worth of writing never existed. I tried again, it didn't work. Tried to save it as a online draft, didn't work. So I said I'll worry about it later. Typed up both Day 1 & 2. Posted them like a certified Boss Lady that I am. NOTHING!!! OMG IT'S AN EPIDEMIC!! So I downloaded the Blogger App. I love it, works out great. Saves whatever I type up on the iPhone as a draft on comp. I mean it's fantastic. Downside, yes there is one or a few, it won't let put the pictures where I want them to be. Then it refuses to keep the labels on hand. I remember them, but he'll you can't expect me to go type em up everytime. Hell some people need organization in their life. I tried the whole just labeling stuff. OMG, all them LABELS good gosh it was like a million!!! Took up more space on the blog than the posts itself! Not gonna happen. There's quite a bit now, however I like the categorical process of things. Makes our lives easier. It was ridiculous. So not only could I not blog like I wanted to, but I felt anxious. I had a bunch of shit to tell you guys and I couldn't—DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS!? UGH!! But hopefully, I'll be able to get it together soon and bring everyone up to date lol.
What else is going on?? Oh! I had a bad day the other day. I consider myself a good person and I'm trying hard and my bestest to be a productive adult that society expects of me and just know that I'll be alright on my own. I have been working hard at finding a job. Regardless of my talents. They're not good enough for our over business-minded corporate America. Not everyone is meant to be business men an women, or work in corporate communications or be in politics. It's not for everybody. No I don't have marketable skills, nor do I know what I want to do. I'm 25 and still have a lot of things to experience. A lot of things to know and learn about myself. I have likes an dislikes now that may change as I grow older. There's a lot of uncertainty in my life and that's ok, it lets me be open to new things and experience a lot of different things.
Well my student loan debtors have been on my ass like there's no tomorrow. They want thousand and thousands of dollars yesterday. They bitch and moan and tell me how horrible of an adult I am and how my mother should be ashamed to have such a useless daughter. How she shouldn't be taking care of me and I need to get a job. Yet they want her to pay my bills off. What type of shit is that?? It's been like a serious battle field the past couple weeks. Well I get this letter on Friday. I didn't read it until late that evening and said I would call definitely. The letter is telling me either I pay off the $5000 now or I have to go to a court hearing that going to be in either Chicago, Atlanta or San Fransico. So if I don't have the $5000 how do you expect me to go to some other city, for a hearing?? I don't have the money for it like what the hell? I instantly got pissed.
So a few days before this letter. I went down to this orginization that helps people in need of anything. I talked to the guy the week before and he told me to come in on Tuesday the 14th. Ok. So besides a few mishaps and issues. I made there on time and had to wait until 11am to get to talk with this man. All he did was botch and moan and tell me how much he hated my resume and how horrible it was and lacking so many details. I told him when I had all the details on there I was told it was just as horrible. Like wtf make up your mind about this resume crap. Well in the 15 or so minutes there with that man. He little chit chat pissed me off by telling me I need to know what I want to do. I want to work that's it. He asked me what are my favorite things to do. I like to read and write. Not to many available jobs in those categories. So he sends me some 7 odd emails of a 100 different jobs. So he says well all you need to do is apply yourself and apply to jobs. It's just that simple. Then he ended his funky attitude with keep in touch. Yea right. I came down here thinking you could tell me oh hey, this newspaper needs a secretary and you'll be great for the spot. I'll put your name in as a recommendation. No I got emails of jobs to apply for that are by closest 30 minutes away. The best part, if something should happen, the bus doesn't even go to some of these places. Thats not helping, that's actually causing me more troubles and problems. Not to mention, that I still haven't heard nothing from Chipotle and I guess I never will.
Well in the midst of losing my mind and snapping completely. I said fuck it. I'm tired of this, not qualified, over qualified or how I need to go back to school but no one wants to help pay the $20,000 tuition bill. I said well push has now turned into shoving. I've tried my best an my hardest and it's apparently not good enough. For me to get any type of government assistance, I need to be pregnant or with a kid. To get half off, I'll need to be married. Two things that arent going to happen right now, if at all. I decided that I'm going to do this webcam girl thing. Went out brought what I needed. I said for now I can go to a hotel if possible and take pictures and work there. I never wanted to do this at my mother's home. Not only is it just odd and weird, it's disrespectful. So I think if I can work that to make some money. I can eventually get a place of my own. Go there and work without my mom knowing exactly what I'm doing. It's nothing great and to most people it's inappropriate and lewd. But when one doesn't have many options and society is being more than just harsh. You've got to do things that you may not want to or feel comfortable with just to get ahead in this twisted world. I'm tired of doing the same thing everyday over and over. I'm tired of applying for jobs on top of jobs and always getting told no an all for petty reasons. You can't work here because you have to catch the bus or because you don't have 8 professional references or how I'm suppose to have 10 years of experience. I'm tired of the bull crap and always hearing an excuse about something crazy. So I feel for now this is the best. It's not the greatest but I have to at least try. So we'll see how that works out.
Other than that for now that's all the drama I was exposed to. Eventually I hope my life straightens out and turns out a little bit better than it is now.
But I still have a buncha shit to tell you do stay tuned!! Lol
I've missed you so!! Ugh you just don't know the witchcraft I've been through the past few weeks!! Big Bertha has been giving me a hard time and won't do anything. My mom got tired of me whining and complaining and brought me a new computer. Still haven't got that setup just yet. But soon enough Little Lola will be up and running. I plan on at some point fixing Bertha and possibly rebuilding her from scratch.
Hmm now what else?? Oh started my project of the 31 Day Nail Challenge. So I go and start my posting got my materials and pictures and already and excited. That's a lot of and's lol. So tried to post for Day 1. Blogpress says it got posted, I go to look. Not only is there nothing there, there's no draft and it's as if that 5 minutes worth of writing never existed. I tried again, it didn't work. Tried to save it as a online draft, didn't work. So I said I'll worry about it later. Typed up both Day 1 & 2. Posted them like a certified Boss Lady that I am. NOTHING!!! OMG IT'S AN EPIDEMIC!! So I downloaded the Blogger App. I love it, works out great. Saves whatever I type up on the iPhone as a draft on comp. I mean it's fantastic. Downside, yes there is one or a few, it won't let put the pictures where I want them to be. Then it refuses to keep the labels on hand. I remember them, but he'll you can't expect me to go type em up everytime. Hell some people need organization in their life. I tried the whole just labeling stuff. OMG, all them LABELS good gosh it was like a million!!! Took up more space on the blog than the posts itself! Not gonna happen. There's quite a bit now, however I like the categorical process of things. Makes our lives easier. It was ridiculous. So not only could I not blog like I wanted to, but I felt anxious. I had a bunch of shit to tell you guys and I couldn't—DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS!? UGH!! But hopefully, I'll be able to get it together soon and bring everyone up to date lol.
What else is going on?? Oh! I had a bad day the other day. I consider myself a good person and I'm trying hard and my bestest to be a productive adult that society expects of me and just know that I'll be alright on my own. I have been working hard at finding a job. Regardless of my talents. They're not good enough for our over business-minded corporate America. Not everyone is meant to be business men an women, or work in corporate communications or be in politics. It's not for everybody. No I don't have marketable skills, nor do I know what I want to do. I'm 25 and still have a lot of things to experience. A lot of things to know and learn about myself. I have likes an dislikes now that may change as I grow older. There's a lot of uncertainty in my life and that's ok, it lets me be open to new things and experience a lot of different things.
Well my student loan debtors have been on my ass like there's no tomorrow. They want thousand and thousands of dollars yesterday. They bitch and moan and tell me how horrible of an adult I am and how my mother should be ashamed to have such a useless daughter. How she shouldn't be taking care of me and I need to get a job. Yet they want her to pay my bills off. What type of shit is that?? It's been like a serious battle field the past couple weeks. Well I get this letter on Friday. I didn't read it until late that evening and said I would call definitely. The letter is telling me either I pay off the $5000 now or I have to go to a court hearing that going to be in either Chicago, Atlanta or San Fransico. So if I don't have the $5000 how do you expect me to go to some other city, for a hearing?? I don't have the money for it like what the hell? I instantly got pissed.
So a few days before this letter. I went down to this orginization that helps people in need of anything. I talked to the guy the week before and he told me to come in on Tuesday the 14th. Ok. So besides a few mishaps and issues. I made there on time and had to wait until 11am to get to talk with this man. All he did was botch and moan and tell me how much he hated my resume and how horrible it was and lacking so many details. I told him when I had all the details on there I was told it was just as horrible. Like wtf make up your mind about this resume crap. Well in the 15 or so minutes there with that man. He little chit chat pissed me off by telling me I need to know what I want to do. I want to work that's it. He asked me what are my favorite things to do. I like to read and write. Not to many available jobs in those categories. So he sends me some 7 odd emails of a 100 different jobs. So he says well all you need to do is apply yourself and apply to jobs. It's just that simple. Then he ended his funky attitude with keep in touch. Yea right. I came down here thinking you could tell me oh hey, this newspaper needs a secretary and you'll be great for the spot. I'll put your name in as a recommendation. No I got emails of jobs to apply for that are by closest 30 minutes away. The best part, if something should happen, the bus doesn't even go to some of these places. Thats not helping, that's actually causing me more troubles and problems. Not to mention, that I still haven't heard nothing from Chipotle and I guess I never will.
Well in the midst of losing my mind and snapping completely. I said fuck it. I'm tired of this, not qualified, over qualified or how I need to go back to school but no one wants to help pay the $20,000 tuition bill. I said well push has now turned into shoving. I've tried my best an my hardest and it's apparently not good enough. For me to get any type of government assistance, I need to be pregnant or with a kid. To get half off, I'll need to be married. Two things that arent going to happen right now, if at all. I decided that I'm going to do this webcam girl thing. Went out brought what I needed. I said for now I can go to a hotel if possible and take pictures and work there. I never wanted to do this at my mother's home. Not only is it just odd and weird, it's disrespectful. So I think if I can work that to make some money. I can eventually get a place of my own. Go there and work without my mom knowing exactly what I'm doing. It's nothing great and to most people it's inappropriate and lewd. But when one doesn't have many options and society is being more than just harsh. You've got to do things that you may not want to or feel comfortable with just to get ahead in this twisted world. I'm tired of doing the same thing everyday over and over. I'm tired of applying for jobs on top of jobs and always getting told no an all for petty reasons. You can't work here because you have to catch the bus or because you don't have 8 professional references or how I'm suppose to have 10 years of experience. I'm tired of the bull crap and always hearing an excuse about something crazy. So I feel for now this is the best. It's not the greatest but I have to at least try. So we'll see how that works out.
Other than that for now that's all the drama I was exposed to. Eventually I hope my life straightens out and turns out a little bit better than it is now.
But I still have a buncha shit to tell you do stay tuned!! Lol
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Email: mzbunny35@itzmzbunny.com
