Reason 7: Wants & Needs

I learned over the years that there’s really no differentiating between wants and needs. Besides definitions. We all have our own understanding of what both words mean to us. And to each their own. But what I did find out was the fact that my wants and needs changed over the years. Some for the better, others not. The rest were either adjusted or removed or compromised into something else.

 

 

It didn’t make sense until one day I was talking to my uncle. He was smart, wise and knew a lot about life. I remember telling him someone was clowning me for working so hard after my mom (his sister) passed. He asked why I was working so hard. I said well because I wanted to have heat, water and lights. I wanted to eat and have gas money you know? He said yeah the basic shit. Well yeah. He said people will sit there and tell you how materialistic you are and how you putting wants over needs. But you need water to cook and bathe in. You need the lights to watch your tv, charge your electronics and cook and wash clothes. You need the heat to dry clothes, run the stove and keep you warm in the winter right? I said yessir. So you WANT those things. There are some materialistic items such as those that are wanted because it’s a nice luxury, might make life easier. You’re not out here buying a new car or doing drugs are you? I told him maybe a little drugs lol. He said that’s ok too fuck it, but if you can say hey I got a place to stay, food to eat and my utilities let people talk. They don’t have or own shit and think it’s a given.

 

He's right. I think about that when someone or mostly a man asks me why I don’t have time to bullshit around. Um I like my utilities and food and having my car. Those may be material items but those are what I need and what I want to have. Every so often I’ll splurge and buy a book or go to the movies or out to dinner. But I mostly work hard to make sure that bills are paid, gas is in the car and I have everything I need without needing additional help.

 

 

It amazes me when I started working in a utility company seeing how people felt a weeklong vacation to a tropical attraction was more important than paying their light bill. I rather have lights than have a vacation. Your home is supposed to be your paradise from the rest of the outside world. If you can’t be happy or contented at home. How are you even having fun on a vacation. I would be devastated knowing that I went to Hawaii and my bills are past due or shit is getting shut off. It’s hard enough for me to not feel guilty buying a $4 used book and having bills slightly past due! But got to take each day at a time, right? That comes with everything we do. We all have needs that are important and then we have wants that are also important. Sometimes they cancel each other out. Like currently I’m getting my car fixed due to traffic violations and I have to go to court as well. It may not be on my wants or within my budget but it’s something I need to do to if I want the violation taken away and not have my right as a driver taken away which is a need. Tongue twister. I wanted new tires for my care but I felt the price was outrageous ($385)….But I also want the utilities still on, so my whole paycheck went to bills and I’m stuck with like $40 until next pay which is going to the car away lol. 

 

It’s a weird balancing act of keeping things cordial and satistified at the same time. I remember last year when I lost my job and had shut off notices out of the ass. I said to my ex that I had an appointment to go to see about getting help and I needed MY CAR for the day. I told him I’d take him home and to work whatever. Oh that motherfucker didn’t show back up until after I missed my appointment and says to me that he doesn’t have to do what I want to do. Which basically meant his needs and wants came before mine. SO you rolling your bitch around in MY CAR bringing it back to me fucked up and shit missing and having a good ole time is more important than me having utilities and  a place to stay. Gotcha! So I learned my needs/wants may differ from other’s and may not be as important to them as they are to me. It took a lot for me to understand that and learn to appreciate that.