Oh Deer?!

So this crazy thing happened.

I'm pissed and driving after I find out Rita's is closed. While on my way to my next destination, tell me why this crazy female deer decides OH hey I can cross the street now even though there's a car coming.

This crazy bitch jumps out in front of me, so I'm like OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAP!! I'm trying to stop without slamming on the brakes, why this ho decide to run TOWARDS ME?! I'm like BITCH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! I would've swerved if there's wasn't a car coming on the opposing traffic. So then she decides out of the blue OH MY GOODNESS THIS HUMAN IS ABOUT TO RUN ME OVER WITH HER HIPPIE VAN. Her punk ass ran behind this big old decorative boulder.

I'm pretty sure I had like 5 heart attacks and 2 strokes. That dumb broad playing in the street and shit.

The wild life is out to get me, I'm sure of it.