Family Knots

You know how people always say that there's nothing like Family and how important having a Family is. The love and the support and all that good stuff. I'm all for that and I respect that. That's how a family should be loving, caring and close knit. However there families with issues, problems, those that are broken and others that are dysfunctional. Nobody's perfect and that's how things work.


Then there's my family, they are the creators of the word dysfunctional. Matter of fact they take it beyond dysfunction, hate, disturbed, mentally ill and definite shit starters. They have more gall to fight and argue and keep stuff started that feelings and love go out the window quicker than a dust bunny running from the vacuum cleaner.

Now my Dad's side of the family after he died I never existed to them. Before he died I never existed. Hell his own brother would call the house after he died and say I want to talk to the Mrs. like I'm the house maid or something. My uncle's kids ignore me and dislike me only because my dad's mother disliked my mom. So it's nothing new and at least they're consistent with their bullcrap. And to be honest I don't really know any of them personally a few I know of but that's about it.

My Mother's family fight and argue and keep more secrets more than allowed. However they won't call to say hello or see how me and the mama are doing. If you call them they're do disgusted that you may ask them to do something they go into this bitching and moaning about how they're so fucking busy and stuff and makes no sense. They act real brand new and ignore you and act like you were never born. However when they want a birthday or graduation presents, or when they want money or they act like you're a Genie and want a ton of favors and could you do this for me, please & thank you, I owe you one type shit.

They are so ridiculous and want to argue and fight. But I'll be gosh damn, I am not gonna be so loving like my parents were. I'm gonna say hell to the no. Then why the fuck should I buy you a present or take what little money I may have to give to you when you're the same mother–flipper who told me you wish I would become an orphan and oh no I can't take you to school because it's too damn far away and no I'm not gonna help you and I refuse to do this and I refuse to do that shit. Unlike my mom, I'm not going to let it go. As soon as they talk some dumb shit I'm going to be like No, no one wants to help me get a job or be a reference and remember me moving 2 hours away was such a long ass way?? Yea so go fuck yourself.


Anyway the reason why I brought it up was a few things.


1. For my birthday one of my older cousins wished me a Happy One. It was odd because she hasn't wished me a Happy Birthday in like 3 or 4 years. Now I ended up in some of her mess, though. Her husband supposedly got this girl pregnant and the girl's sister is talking LOADS of bull to me and how I know what's going on. Like no, I don't know what's going on hadn't seen her husband in over 3 or so years at the time. All this mess. So the last time I talked to this cousin I was asking her if she knew any hair salons that did kinky twists. I needed my hair done for school. This bird going to cope an attitude and tell me I need to wear my hair in an Afro an be done with it because braids this and braids that. That's not what the fuck I asked you T_T. And my hair ain't nappy like yours an it won't Afro. So this year she wishes me a Happy Birthday. Well it's stranger, we don't talk and now all of sudden you're in love with me?? Well her oldest son is graduating from high school if he hasn't done so already. So she's having a PARTY FOR HIM and INVITED ME—why?? Not because they really wanted me to go and then she had two kids before him graduate. But because she wanted a present. Plus I bet she wants to bring up why that dumb broad was bitching about the whole husband knocked my sister up fiasco. Bitch please I won't give you the satisfaction.



2. My other cousin usually gets on Facebook and talk all this dumb shit. So he decides to mentions that you can't or you shouldn't prune your family tree too much because you'd have nothing to write about on Facebook. So I bluntly told him my tree is whittled down to a stick and I still got epic shit to write about, and I don't have this blog and website for nothing. I know it pissed him off and I'm glad. He's the same homo who was playing minds games about picking me up from school and how I need to respect his aunt and call her my aunt and I'm like she's my cousin just like you are and she don't even call my mom her ain't and my mother is her mother, your grandmother sister. So don't feed me that bullshit.



3. TODAY!! I go into the Giant Eagle the grocery store or market here. I went in to get a recyclable bag so I could carry the drinks I was getting because it's easy to carry and those paper cup holders get wet they get weak and aren't very stable. So I notice this little boy, a teenager, he's staring at me and making faces at me and I'm like what the waffle is this?? O_o so I go in the store and I'm looking for the recyclable bags and walking about the store and this kid is following me and walking pass me and making noises and I'm like what are you trying to get my attention or do you want my striped cutie flat up your anus??? So I took a minute to think and then I'm like I wonder if it's that boy or not. So he kept following me and staring. When I finally couldn't find the bag, I said oh we'll and went to the front of the store by the check outs and registers and there stood the boy and he looked dead in my face and I'm like YUP IT'S YOU you little fuck face. Anyway it was a baby cousin. His sister was the skank I roomed with in college who gave me more hell and problems than you can stick a shake at!! I couldn't believe the little douchewaffle had the nerve an audacity to sit there and state and make faces at me like either say hello and e done with it or stop staring at me. So I still went in search for the bag and gave up once more. I head up to the front to pay for what I had obtained and there he stood talking to some other kids and staring and watching me check out like a certified creeper. I guess he got disgusted I didn't say anything to him, but I don't have to I'm a grown ass woman and he's a kid regardless and since he only wanted to talk to me the last time I saw him when he wanted fundraiser money for his school but said fuck you all other times. Yea don't talk to me, I hate you and your sisters and your mom and grandmother. So bite me, ok!




It makes no sense to me, I rather cut all ties to them even though you shouldn't burn your bridges as you go along. However if those people refuse to help or support you or me or whoever. Why do I need to keep you in my life?? If they're bold enough to tell me I need to learn to drive and stop asking for them to help or they wish I become an orphan. Yea I really don't need you negative haters in my life AT ALL. Family is important and it makes a person to grow up to be a bad or good person as they grow up. It brings love and support. That's all great, it can be a beautiful thing and I hope to someday raise my kids with that understanding. However all the fighting and being related who you want to be and gripping generations and all the bull has got to stop. It's unnecessary and it makes and promotes a broken family, people you don't know you're related to and don't get me started on the incest within the family because of stubborn or self-centered people. That's the stuff that pisses me off. Don't judge me or make fun of me and consider yourself high and mighty or better. We are family whether we like it or not and what's so sad when the world turns your back on you and all you got is your family—in my case everybody's against me and I don't have that love and support. However I would rather be alone and miserable and unhappy than to be with people who refuse to help, support or love me.



It makes no sense. But I guess that's why the same makes so sense to me, you can't pick and choose your family. So you either put up with their bull or learn to accept it and move on.


Family is important though so if you've got a good one, hold on to it and them as tight as you can. Because being alone without it being your choice is heartbreaking and I doubt many people can be ok with it like I've become ok with it.



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