Kwanzaa | Kuumba | Creativity

Creativity should be in everything we do. Not just community and businesses. I found myself where my relationships with people intimate or platonic was getting dull. And some even reach the point where what we used to do that was fun was old. When I was ready to try something new or add something else to our relationship, it was always a no. It wasn’t fun to them or it took them outside of their comfort zone and they didn’t like it. It was like if I wasn’t liking what they liked or doing what they wanted to do (even it being the same old thing) I was boring or acting brand new. That never was the case. I was trying to keep our friendship and add something to bring us closer. Not continue to add to the distance and stagnation that was happening. 

However some people aren’t going to have that kind of creativity. That’s the best they can do and sometimes we got to learn to accept that. Like my ex feels fun is going to the bar and having a stellar time with the bar veterans and eating bar food. While I don’t think it is. He feels I’m boring. I’m even boring when I don’t want to watch football. I’m especially wrong when I won’t do, think and act like he wants me to. However if I want to try something new he never wanted to. So we’re stuck in a stagnation. I feel it’s time to let it go and move on. He feels we should be together. Unfortunate as it is, this happens a lot. Friendships too. I think we as people need to be more open minded and explore new things. Come out of comfort zone and create memories. Enjoy the creative atmosphere around us and be able to marvel at the ways it’s added to our changes. Hopefully for the better. 

Kwanzaa | Nia | Purpose

I feel some people force a purpose on others to satisfy what’s traditional and acceptable in today’s society. When I feel it’s not even that. Purpose is something we have to find on our own. Hell even I don’t even know what my purpose is. But my cats give me a purpose which makes me content. But I hate people telling me my purpose is to be a wife and cater to a man and have babies. My purpose is to love a broken man who doesn’t want to be loved. My purpose is to love and support people who don’t give a damn about me. My purpose is to do what everybody else wants without complaining. No. No that’s not my purpose. In my heart I know it’s wrong, it hurts and I damn sure don’t like it. Can’t be true then. 

I could never force someone to be something they’re not or don’t want to be. That’s like taking away apart of their individuality and hoping they don’t turn into a robotic copy. That ain’t happening. And what’s sad so many people want the world that way. 

I just hope in the years to come that I do find out what my purpose is or was or will be. And I hope that the rest of the world can be more open minded to the possibility of purposes owning individuality and not traditional attributes. 

Kwanzaa | Ujamaa | Cooperative Economics

I still believe in supporting black own businesses. Every so often I run across one who feels like I HAVE TO SUPPORT. Um no I don’t. I do it if I want. But you’re not going to force me to support you. But it’s rare case though. 

I just wish we had more backbone to support each other. Not even with business though. With everything. Friend gets a job good job I’m proud of you! Engagement or Marriage—congratulations you guys! New job, new baby, new car—hell even a new cup! GREAT, BEAUTIFUL! However I hated it when people are mad you don’t support them after they’ve force fed you their “moment.” 

I had plenty of friends have babies or get engaged/married this year. And continuously everyday they’re forcing it down their throat. And telling you how you could’ve been successful like them. No no honey. No one wants your man or his 6 other kids. No one wants to be the baby mama who got lucky. Sorry no. I never like boasting my success because I don’t want someone else feeling bad or doubting themselves. I don’t want that other person feeling like they’re in a race or they’ve got to catch up with me. Or be on my level. While everyone around me that’s my age became parents and husbands/wives by 25 or so. I became a homeowner, while also becoming an orphan in the process. So we all have different walks of life. Different paths. Whichever accomplishment we reach doesn’t mean there’s an expiration date on it. Or that we need to get there before anyone else. 

We should inspire each other and build one another up. Congratulate on the little accomplishments too! They matter and can sometimes mean the world to a person. Some of us are still trying to figure life out and may need that extra little bit of encouragement. That support can bring a lot of people out of the darkness and that means more than trying to keep up with the Jones’ 

Kwanzaa | Ujima | Collective Work & Responsibility

What I Love most about Ujima is that last phrase....

“Make our brothers’ and sisters’ problems our problems and to solve them together.”

It means so much. Yet people disregard it everyday. I was always a firm believer and my parents enforced it that if someone had a problem and you care about that person it’s your problem to and to help them fix it. No matter the issue or how difficult it may seem—YOU HELP. Because you never know when someone else is going to help you. Which is true. However. Sometimes people take advantage of that help. And make it so where only their problem matters and yours don’t. No, no. If I can acknowledge and accept your problems you can do the same for mine. What I found out for this year. While I was willing to acknowledge and accept everyone else’s problems. No one was willing to do the same for me. They felt we’ll figure it out. Or unfortunately in my case I let them make it worst. And that’s not good at all. Moving forward, I plan to still do the same however only when it’s understood I have problems too. I might come off as too independent. And I’m ok with that! But my problems matter too! And if that person can’t even throw me a nod in understanding well I’m going to treat you how you treat me. 

With all that being said. Don’t let someone treat you like your problems are insolvable or not important enough or doesn’t stack up to theirs. That’s bullshit. Two, that’s ignorance and selfishness wrapped up in a terrible character. They need to get them a life if they think the world has to cater to them. No the hell it doesn’t buttercup. You matter too and never forget that. 

Kwanzaa | Kujichagulia | Self-Determination

This was something I was lacking in BIG TIME! I think a lot of us do. We get focused on impressing people, pleasing others, making someone else happy and giving them what they want—that we miss out on doing the same for ourselves. 

I learned this year not so much to continue to stand up for myself. But do for myself like I’ve done with others. I ended up in the position where I was financially broke, stuck in legal system mess, stuck in a situation I didn’t want and a broke down car and no job. And it wasn’t good and it was hard to stay positive and encourage myself. What I’ve learned is that for 2018 no more. No more doing for others and hoping they do for me. It has nothing to do with being independent or a strong black woman—NO! I need to focus on me and my doings and situations. Because when I do I feel so accomplished and empowered. Got my car fix after 6months of it being broke down. And I worked hard and finally got it done and I felt so happy when I got it back. To the point I’m working hard so that I can get it fixed and ready PERMANENTLY for the road. Because I found out no ones going do it for me. 

I plan to live 2018 the same way. Doing for me. I want to be able to define myself in away that I never have before. And I want you to do the same. 

Kwanzaa | Umoja | Unity

So a little different approach than what I normally do. But it makes things easier and more interesting right?? Less cliché. 

So this year like I said was a rough year and I went through a lot of heartbreak and heartache. As the year comes to a close I have more time to focus on what’s more important to me. And what should be important. 

Unity doesn’t always have to mean that you have to have a unified situation or relationship going on with others. Sometimes in fact you have to have unity with yourself so you can share and promote the unity within to others. I found myself not being true to myself this year. I was so focused on helping others, being there for them and showing them how much I care by going above and beyond. And guess what? Not only did I get screwed over and stuck in some really messed up situations that I could’ve avoided if I had been true to myself. 

So for the new year I want to focus on me. I realize I’ve been slacking on that and that’s not good. I’m important too. I matter too! Sometimes no matter what you do or how you are as a person others don’t see it and you know what? That’s ok. They don’t have to. They’re not required to. Just look at it as them fighting with their own unity within themselves. And remember you can still be unified with someone that you don’t get along with or don’t necessarily see eye-to-eye with. 

Happy Kwanzaa 2017

So another year and of course our favorite holiday has come and I’m actually more than excited about it this time around. 2017 has been a rough year for me and I don’t want to be put in the position where I carry that heaviness over to 2018. And I’m not. But I’ll get into more of that later. 

THUS! Let the Celebration begin!

For those of you just joining us. Or you happen to stumble upon this post. Welcome! I’m Bunny, I write about any and everything. Mostly life intriguing topics lol. But we’re glad you could join us! Every year I’ve posted blogs for Kwanzaa. I love Kwanzaa as a holiday not so much for my heritage and background. But because it’s more than just celebrating black culture. I find it so sad that so many black people refuse to celebrate it because they don’t feel it’s a real holiday. But it gives a perspective on life that’s amazing. It makes you think and wonder what you can do as a person to not only better yourself but to better those around you and your community. I feel that’s what’s lacking with EVERYONE but that’s me lol. 

Anyway 

From December 26th to January 1st Kwanzaa is celebrated. It’s a cultural holiday, that was created in 1966 by Dr. Maulana Karenga and was named from the phrase "matunda ya kwanza," meaning "first fruits" in Swahili. A celebration which was established to connect people with their African roots and heritage, Kwanzaa teaches seven principles: unity, self-determination, collective work and responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity, and faith. Representing these seven principles, a Kinara, or candle holder, has seven candles, which are lit each night of the celebration.

Merry Christmas!

Hi kids!! 

I miss you all so much! 

I just wanted to pop in real quick and say Merry Christmas and I hope everyone had and will have a very happy holiday!! Shit I’m happy to be off after all that overtime I just work! But I can say this much—YES WE WILL BE CELEBRATING KWANZAA!!!!! 

Anyway Have a great day! I’m off to finish my Housewifery lol. 

Love you! 

Baby Maker

Indecisive

Hi kids!!

I missed you guys so!! 

Every time I wanted to write something I either got distracted or just didn’t have the emotional gumption to do so. 

I’ll recap what happened since I lost my job  And let me tell you—it’s been a real doozy. But that’s for later. Technically I kind of want to talk about that and my other jobs. Not in full detail though. 

Last year this time I got a call to go work at the one place I worked so hard to get to. It was all I ever wanted. It was the place my dad worked at. It was everything I dreamed of. I quit two jobs for this opportunity. Even though the one person that would’ve been proud of me had passed on; I was proud of me. And I felt then it was the best decision I could have ever made for myself. 

But I found out I was wrong. So very, very wrong. What I once created in a dream of happiness and longing. Was actually the worst nightmare. I haven’t felt that dumbfounded since my ex told me he didn’t want our baby. Like it was a 360 I didn’t expect. I was flabbergasted. I was miserable, unhappy and so disappointed in myself. Even though I was so happy to leave that place. But I left there lost. 

When I left that job in March I felt I would find something else and move on. But it was hard to move. I had a time finding a job and during my 7months of unemployment I had several additional issues of my own negligence that weighed in and made it more difficult. I was frustrated, hurt and so emotionally torn. I wanted to go back to work. But what did I want to do? I love customer service but I hated how it all goes sometimes. I don’t want to be busting ass and I get a “Atta-Girl” or a “Good Job” and I’m still making that same $9 with accolades. I don’t want that. I want opportunities available. Just in case I change my mind and want to try something else or something new. And as I spent those last few weeks panicking and spazzing out. I finally got a new job that I felt out of place and hesitant over. But I took it as a risk so I could take care of myself.  

So now when I look back on my year. Last year I was so hopeful and excited and definitely got ahead of myself. Only to fall on my ass and find out it wasn’t what was best for me. 

But not once did I second guess myself. Because I tried. It didn’t work. It hurt and took me 7months to get over the fact of it. However I’m in this new job, met some wonderful people, learned some new things. And I’ve reflected on myself. 

There are times in life where you make or made a decision that was the right decision at the time. And sometimes you’ve had the best intentions possible. However it went south, caught you off guard and now your staggering around trying to figure what happened. But sometimes god or higher power gives you what you want so you realize what you need. You might want something really really bad. But you get it and it nothing like you thought because you needed to brought back to reality. While you were sitting there wanting and focusing on that goal. Doing everything in your might to get that in your hands. Higher power was not about to interrupt you. He never interrupts your hard justified work. He promotes you to strive and work harder and kick ass. However you get it and it’s nothing like you thought. Then you’re hurt, mad and upset—But remember it was all for a reason honey. Because how can He be so rude and interrupt your focused. Even if he did you would not have heard him. You would’ve been to focus to listen to the whisper tone. But now that everything’s fallen apart, you’re hurt, confused and asking god why me woe is me. Now he knows he has your undivided attention and can’t speak the ultimate wisdom into you. He can tell you now that wasn’t for you. He can tell you no you wouldn’t have heard me. No you wouldn’t have liked it if I interrupted your focus and shine. You would’ve been offended if he did. He tells you that. And yet he gives you another day, more hours and seconds to listen and follow the path that was created for you. Yes you’ve reared off it. We all have. However he finds a way to get you back on track. He shows you what’s important and what’s best for you. But he gives you the hope to try again, to be opened and to continue to find that greatness he already knows what’s inside of you. He doesn’t creat your happiness—you do. He just wants to marvel at the way you let it manifest and radiate from you. 

With that being said. Whether you’re religious or not. Never let a gal or stumble or whole ass fall apart in your life prevent you from finding your greatness. We all have them. But without that failure without that struggle—we wouldn’t be able to appreciate the end-result.