It's Fucked Up

I really didn't know what else to name this but at the moment I'm frustrated, hurt, disgusted, pissed, agitated, aggravated and so many more emotions to the point I'm falling apart from the inside out.

As I sit here and think how people who've got their lives together bitch and moan abut the silliest shit, it pisses me off. Why?? I never got to live a life of my own. I probably never will. Most people my age are starting families or making them bigger, others are getting well into their careers and some are just fucking doing whatever they want because there is no bad or negative force field that can ruin their good time. Then there's me, deal with life's bullshit. Do I get to go out? No. Do I have friends that actually like me for me and not what I can give or do for them? Fuck no. Is my life so together that I have to find faults in it just to have something to whine over?? NO. 

I have a badd feeling right now. It's deep down in my soul, and what do people say to me?? keep trying one day it'll be the way you want. Oh so keep letting life be fucked up for me and one day I might get a lollipop or some stuffed animal for my problems oh that's fantastic. I would rather not have that. I want something to give me hope and say that tomorrow or my future won't be this fucked up forever.

Now while everyone else is complaining about how they can't sleep or how "turnt up" they fin to be this weekend. I have too worry about if my mom is going to die this year or not and how I'll be fucking homeless without nothing. Oh but that's right, like someone told me I always like playing the victim when it's convenient for me. I'm sorry I forgot how unimportant I am asa human   being, I must've missed that memo on how Bunny was only good enough to remain in the background and be the foundation to everybody else's happiness. Excuse me for being so inconsiderate.

I never wanted my life to be this way, this isn't what I signed up for. This isn't how I planned it, even the worst case scenario. If I did, I thought it would in a controlled manner. Not out of control and never to be manageable. My whole body aches with regret, unhappiness and all I truly wanna do right now is die, just end it all, I don't see a bright or happy future. I see an even miserable one and I know honestly I can't take it alone, but I won't have a choice. No friends, no family, not even a lover who'll stand by my side long enough to tell me they'll always be there ad that things will be alright—nothing.

My world is slowly but fastly falling apart, and all I can do right now is hope it doesn't break me to where I won't be able to cope. Then I have to wonder, they said third time's the charm, maybe the unrequited love I once had for life will finally come to an end and I can finally know peace. Knowing how things goes, The Universe is enjoying my suffering like everyone else.

I will always hate this ugly yet beautiful life. 

I/2 Off Olive Garden Coupon!

So I got a coupon!!

You buy one entrée at Olive Garden and get your second one half off! But this deal is only good until August 8, 2013

Hurry before this deal expires!!! 

Click here or click the image to print it out. 

A Lavender Love Spell

I thought that since I'm waiting for the water to get hot so I can bathe myself for the night that I would talk about something that's been on my mind lately.

Maybe a week or two ago, I happen to come across the mailman. I hadn't seen him since maybe January or possibly even December. I was glad of that. Just letting all the years wasted on loving him flow back to me and do a double rewind like a bad movie just tainted my emotions even more so. Seeing him and just looking at him broke my heart and made me dislike him even that much more. I even had a moment where I went to look at his wife's facebook page which had been AGES since I last did that. She posted up pictures of their wedding day and their trip to Disney World last year. But what I immediately got pissed off at or more like jealous was the fact her daughter graduated Penn State. But here's the kicker, SHE HAD  A BABY!! The fall of last year and still graduated on time with good honors and the whole nine. There's his wife beaming at her recent college grad and boasting about their granddaughter.  

But all I could think of how stupid, how much of a dumb fuck he really is. It's one thing taking care of someone else's kid, but it's another taking care of that kid that's not yours, kid and being perfectly ok with it. Now I know he was footing the bill for that Penn State Tuition and even now I'm sure he'd made to take time with that baby whether he want's to or not. All in all this time around I didn't feel sorry for him and I actual amuse at his misfortunes. 

Then I thought that wasn't right or fair. He's just as much of a human being as anyone else. But why? Why do I hate him so? Then I thought to my ex-girlfriend, I didn't have the same problem or ultimate loathing with her. But why?? And then the other day it finally dawned on me.

Even though she and I ended on a terribly sour note and we were both pissed and unhappy. There was one thing she did that made the way I feel about her now come to be over how I felt then when we broke up. She said she was sorry, but only difference was she meant it. She accepted the responsibility that it turned out uglier than it should've and things were said that were hurtful. I can honestly say it was that mere few moments in our chatting where we acted like adults and talk it out. There was no she said and no I said this—none of that. Just pure conversation. Even though I don't trust and probably never wag my tail her way again. I love her just the same. I truly do and I'm ok with our relationship and how it got to where it's at today. We speak to each other here and there always quick hellos and nothing more. I like it, actually I love every spare moment that comes around. 

But him, he never gave me a sorry, that actually meant something. His sorry's were like phrases to say because there isn't anything else to say. Before I would believe them. But it wasn't until that day when we both were on the side walk that April and he stared me in the face like I served no purpose, like air was more visible than me or even that I had no business walking on the same ground as his highness did. That hurt the most. Yet in a crowd of people you can search me out but when it's just me and you on a bright sunny day on the same sidewalk you didn't see me. When I confronted him about it I got a lousy "sorry about that" and he trotted off like it was no big deal. Shortly after his attitude towards me got worst. Now I try to ignore him as much as possible and make little to no eye contact. I don't want to continue to fall in love with someone who was suppose to be my Romeo and yet he feels I was never good enough and probably never would've been. 

All I can say I know now that when I see him or find myself thinking about him, I don't get that fleeting lovable feeling like I used to. I won't say I'll be over it or that one day things will change. I mean c'mon he was my first adult love and it's truly a special thing, even far more special than a very very first love. Did I think the man I would fall madly in love with wouldn't want me or need me or even wait for me?? No. He's made his choice and I have no right to judge or demand something otherwise. I just have to learn to accept it and move on.

One thing I do know that if we happen to cross paths again in the next life, I'll make a serious mental note to never fall in love with him. It wouldn't be worth it, after all. It'd be like a love spell gone wrong. I personally don't think I could cope all over again.

Hopefully the Lavender will bring to me the peace of mind my heart's been looking for...

Saphir The Stray Cat

So last night while I was sitting outside with Madea and her sickness. I kept hearing this noise, it was faint at first. It was almost like someone in your dream calling your name, you know. I sat there and continued fumbling on my phone. And as time went on the sound got louder and I realized it was a kitten. It was crying, but because it was so dark I couldn't tell where it was at or if it was close or being attacked or if anything stuck and needing help of some sort.

Eventually it came out of the darkness and sat in front of the car and cried. I called to it but at the same time a hot rodder came pass and scared the poor thing under the car. I wanted to help it, I kind of felt sorry for it. I went to call it but there it sat behind the wheel of my car watching my ever move. It wasn't until I got close to the tire that it darted back into the darkness and went under another car. I clicked my tongue to it and tried to get it it's attention and make it feel comfortable enough to come to me. It never did, not saying it couldn't been like Egypt, but I could tell it was scared. So as I walked closer to the neighbor's big SUV, it darted off again and I clicked my tongue and even rattled my nails which made it stop and look back at me and wonder I guess, but it serpentined the street and finally ran to another neighbor's house, but I didn't follow because the raccoons congregate there often and I couldn't risk getting bit or attacked trying to save an off-standish kitty. Or so I thought.

I felt bad still, my mom said in her delirium I should feed it something and find a blanket for it to curl up to because it was going to be cold. I waited for it for as long as I could and went to the bathroom and came back out and sat there to almost day break before deciding on going in to have a nap. I had food but I didn't also want to feed the whole neighborhood animals either. But then I said whatever, I was trying to be nice and he was being a little goofball. 

But what I do?? I went and brought cat treats and milk in case he happens to come back. The more I thought about him, the more I felt kind of sorry and yet connected to him. I decided on the name Saphir after the Sailor Moon character because they have a lot in common, wanting to be loved and cared for but ended up getting hurt in the end that caused them to lose trust in others. Ooo Epiphany for Bunny. It sucks to be in a deep, dark and unknown place crying out for help and no one hears your cry yet you want help but you can't help but not trust anyone. You can't let yourself get hurt like that again it's just not possible or okay. Especially when you've got no one to comfort you and tell you everything will be ok and not to worry. I felt sorry for poor Saphir. So if Saphir happens to cross this path again I'll be ready for him with cat treats and milk.       

Rockabye Deal #12

Hey kids!! 

It's been awhile since the last deal and I was beginning to wonder if they gave up on Rockabye lol. 

So Zulily is having a Rockabye Deal, this one is a bit longer this time around 

The sale started today (July 24th) and ends July 29, 2013. You get up to 60% off all rockers and bouncers.

Click the image above or click here to see this deal!

But In Reality

Hi Kids!!

I hope you all weren't too alarmed with my last post thinking that I had kicked the bucket or something. It's just been lately everything seems to be going hay wire. It seems I can't catch a break or even get some solitary moments to myself to even potty without some craziness popping off and ruining my life. Since I have a few spare moments I decided to come talk to you guys and dolls because I've miss you all a lot!!


Last month, I began writing a post on what happened. Unfortunately more shit popped off about that, and fucked up a lot. Not to mention my wifi was down for two months, typing on a phone for everything is a pain in the thumb joints! Anyway, I ended up sideswiping a car, it wasn't bad but it was bad enough that my side mirror on the passenger side was damaged as well as the back door who was missing a handle. Then the whole ugly scrap from the friction of the cars. Well this dude, not only wanted money but he refused to give up insurance information and him and his elderly posse jumped me like i fucked his ca up until it was totaled. It wasn't, his driver side mirror housing was knocked off and all he needed to do was replace that and pop the mirror back in, his wasn't shattered like mine. Plus his scrap that needed to be buffed out. I was livid they acted like I did it on purpose! Number one he was parked on a street where parking isn't allowed and it was during Friday night rush hour. Like dude what the fuck were you thinking??


Long story short, it took a whole month to get that fixed just so the car can go in and get repaired. But the friggin insurance company was giving me a hard time about getting the bumper fixed which got hit while I went out shopping one day and someone smashed it the fuck up. Yet the insurance company said it was my fault and how I should've known to call the police or them when it happened. Granted I understand that now, but if I don't know then I don't know so don't scold me like I'm some little ass kid. So now the Big Betty Van is in the shop getting repaired and all spruced up. Hopefully after we can take her to go get inspected. For I'm getting acquainted with the VW Passat rental we got. Not a huge fan but it's a pretty decent car lol. We got Love/Hate relationship going on.


Hmm, what else happened?? Finally got my internet back on but only hd short spurts to get on and do stuff. Mama hasn't been feeling too good these last couple days, so I'm hoping and praying she'll be alright. I finally lost my battle with Mother Nature, this week. I had been period free for 5 months and I was totally enjoying myself. But oh no she came and karate chopped me in the uterus and thus yay a period and shit. I'm so pissed with her right now and no one knows how much I want my tubes tied or uterus removed.

Anyway, I had planned on making up for the ItzMzBunny cram courses during last month. as well do a few up coming projects but I think I may have to post pone things a bit until I get my life back on some fucking track :p. I do have like 3 things I really wanna post for you guys and dolls.

As for that last post, I was just disgusted that I was told I can never do or have anything and I have to learn to accept that. It's like being told you will never blossom into a flower because you have no petals and you're more of a weed than anything else. Which I know isn't true and I was born a flower like everyone else, you just kept ripping my petals off and telling me to wait my turn. I'm tired of seeing everyone get their way and what they need and I get nothing. Pisses me off.

Oh!! Plus I've been getting stalked by this crazy ex-con bitch that's mad because her mom married my uncle. Ain't that some shit?? I had to block and delete my uncle because I'm beginning to not to trust no family member with shit. Then I saw my cousin a few weeks ago actually at the store and bitch act like she didn't know who I was and stared at me like I was a mirror or some two way glass. She even continued on, after I said hello to her. I'm like yeah, I've been real sick and tired of your bullshit I try too be nice and talk to her on facebook but she act like I did something to her. Fuck that petty shit. I have little to no time for it lol.



So don't worry, I'm here! I just got my plate way too full and it's taking me longer because I have to eat with my fingers and wait for the society to get me a utensil smh.





- Posted using BlogPress

Mini Mojito Pops

Is your little one teething or requiring a staple to beat this unbearable heat wave??

I found this cute recipe on how to make a mock Mojito Popsicle for the little ones. But it can be nice for the older crowd too. Especially if you want to add a small smidgen of alcohol of your choice. I wonder how Margarita pops would taste?? Lol. 

Check it out Mini Strawberry Mojito Pops

I Hate Life

Regardless. When people say, 'oh stay positive,' or 'keep your head up,' or 'one day things will get better' that hurts my feelings more so than help me. 

I never thought being told to give up would be so much more hurtful than saying so myself. Yeah I may get frustrated and may need a break and shout out the statement in protest. But there was always the hope of one day being happy that I clung to. That I fought hard for. But.....now that seems more of a dreaded nightmare than a hopeful dream. 

Today I was told, I can never buy a house, never buy a car or rent anything. I will never get a job because I'm not experienced or own a college degree or two, that I'm not married and nor do I have kids. I can't get those things and its far from possible to even think like I can. 

Then I sit here why is Life considered a blessing or a gift?? Not everyone is hurting the way I am. God forbid if mama dies, then I'd be a lost cause. My student loan debt goes up everyday and I go deeper and deeper into debt. Money makes the world go around. That is so unfair when it's not divided fairly amongst everyone.

I was even seriously considering having a baby just to get help but even in that case there's no guarantee. If I happened to die my debt would go to my kid and that's very unfair. 

The irony to all this, the only way I live care free and achieve that happiness, I would have to die. 

Either I die sooner or later. But if I expect to be happy, it'll still be an unattainable thing. I either end my life early and never see it. Or spend my whole remaining days on this earth miserable and still to never see it. 

There are days like these when I wish I was never born. Days like these where I despise everything that makes Life exist at this very moment. 

 

And all I see is all that hard work to get a dream, I was never meant to have in the first place. 

I hate life. 

An Intrigued Deviant

I was going to write about something inspirational but that'll have to wait until I get this off my mind or chest or whatever.


So a few months back I mentioned this guy that was trying to hook up with me. Everytime I talked to him he had a new bit of purposely "forgotten" information that for me those are things you shouldn't leave out and definitely don't evade them at any cost. WHY? Because when the shit hits the fan I don't want to be the one having to kick everybody's ass including the fan.

Anyway, I can't find the previous post but when I do I'll link it. I posted on Facebook about how my boobs were fighting me literally over ice cream which did happen, they're greedy like that. He comments talking about he'd love to see that. I'm like Hold the hell up.......ain't you married?? So then he goes into this this temper tantrum about how he broke up with her and never wanna see her again and how he's never getting back to her. I'm like calm your man boobs dude, not like I got a fucking memo but don't you think I would've consider your sudden interaction with me odd as hell?? Hmm, I guess not.

So he goes forth to tell me how he loyal and great and how he wouldn't be "hollering" at me if he was still "married" now for those of you that don't know he got married on Easter this Year. Yes March 31, 2013. Prior to that like a week or two before he's literally begging me to marry him, then at the same time I found out about his other kid he got...Now not only is he fucking the whole town and knocking everyone up but he's marrying whoever and dropping their asses left to right.

But what's got me piss isn't that I couldn't be a candidate for neither, oh no it's nothing like that. But the fact that's treating me like seconds, like a back up plan or just in case option. Like honestly fuck that. If I can't be first and be the ONLY even in the end I'm not interested. I get so sick and tired of guys wanting to talk bullshit to me, grab a quick dab of sex from my honey pot and then go wife the neighborhood whore and when it doesn't work out here the motherfucker come crying to me and shit. Dude get the fuck out of here with that cockamamie bullshit.

I'm going to have to find a way to block and delete his ass. Regardless of his feelings and if he takes it personally, that I do not care.

I am no one's second or last minute option.

When Madea Babysits

My mom and dad watched out neighbors' grandson this one time a few years ago. They had to take him to the birthday party and he's an obnoxious little prick and even as a teenager he's even worst. 

So he got mad because they didn't want to be "on time" according to him. Here's what happen:

Boy: We are wasting time you know?

Time is everything...

Time is money...

Time is...

Madea: TIME IS SHUT THE FUCK UP!! THATS WHAT THE TIME IS!!!

X-Rated Poetry

"Penis"	"Vagina"
Roses are penises Violets are penises Everything is a penis Penis —Dragula	vagina vagina its great vagina vagina lick your whole plate ohhh snap snap snap snap —Adrienne

 This wonderful post was brought to you today by Bunny's Corner (#BunnysCorner)

2 Cars