Aunty Acid #16

Having a BIG ASS has it's disadvantages lol

Never, Never, Never...

Never Say Never

Yeah!! You wouldn't like it if she called your dick a 3inch crooked limp noodle that couldn't get it up with the help of a construction company, now would you?? So stop that shit, it's mean.

Speeding Ticket

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

Source

Bunny's Confessions #2

"Laughter's Cure"

"Laughter is the best medicine!"

"You've got to laugh to keep from crying."

Those two sayings mean the world to me. I believe it's true. In any case I think it's best to laughter when you're ready to cry. Laugh about any and everything. Because it'll make you feel so much better and it'll also give you a different outlook on things.

However it can be taken too far. I know. I usually take it there.

Confession #2

Most people snore, or moan or even kick in their sleep. I laugh. That's right I laugh in my sleep. Sometimes it can get so bad that I wake myself up and can't stop laughing. It's like when the Joker gives his victims a heavy dose of laughing gas and they uncontrollably giggle for hours until they die.

Well for me I haven't reached that moment where I DIE per say. Just giggle like crazy.

I can't really pin point how long I've been doing do. But the very first time I recognize it was when I was little and my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast and I sleepily answered yes. Then went straight back to sleep. In a matter a few minute I began to giggle. Those giggles soon turned o uncontrollable laughter and it was actually quite frightful and painful. So a bit of humour and trauma together. Those are the ingredients for a good comedy lol.

Now it happens often enough my mom wakes me up and asks me what's so funny. That's if I haven't woken myself up of course lol.

If you think this is bad, my one room mate from college was scared of me and my random bursts of laughter.


I look at it this way. Maybe I really needed a laugh. Maybe the dream I was having was going in another direction. Either way there's a reason why I need to laugh while I'm sleep. It could be even to make up for the days when I don't feel like laughing at all.

Either way I wouldn't change it for the world lol.


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Ignore ≠ Attention

Michelangelo Says...

The Future Looks Bleak

Nyan Cat!

Aunty Acid #15